How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask KimberlyF Your Own Question

KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 750
Experience:  Relationship expert for almost three years with
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
KimberlyF is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

My girlfriend and I have been talking about spending our lives

This answer was rated:

My girlfriend and I have been talking about spending our lives together. Last Sunday my suspicions were aroused about her and her ex boyfriend and then my suspicion was elevated by some of her answers and demeanor. she had told me that she would be home by 9 for me to come over and then did not get home till 10:30pm. I followed my instinct and went to a place which I thought she may be and saw her and her ex boyfriend's car parked in the middle of the empty parking lot. I asked her what happened and she said she lost track of time because she was with her girlfriends that she had not seen in a long time discussing an upcoming bachlorette party. Do I tell her that I saw her and her ex? or do I wait and see what happens? I don't know if I can act like everything is ok though knowing that she lied to me.


If you wait to see what happens you may lose your girlfriend to her ex boyfriend she is meeting him for a reason whether it be unresolved feelings or just meeting as friends, you need to find out what that reason is. Since you have proof that she wasn't with her girlfriends and that she blatantly lied to you it's time to confront her with what you know and ask her why she felt the need to both meet him and lie to you about her whereabouts, don't sit around letting this eat you up in hopes that it will get better or go away it won't get better it will get worse. As long as she thinks she can get away with it she will continue to lie her way out of things and cover her lie with a lie so I say nip it in the bud now before it gets out of hand. You relationship is still salvageable but you have to handle the situation head on. It's your right to know and you deserve an explanation and respect.

Customer: replied 7 years ago.
How do I confront her with it? How do I tell her that I drove by because I had susupicions without sounding like a stalker.
Customer: replied 7 years ago.

I spent that Sunday night with her and kept tossing and turning and I told her that I had very strong feeling that she was with him. I told her that I realize she may have her reasons for doing so, such as wnating to get closure and get him off her back. etc. And now tables have turned she is freaked out by me because my anger was very evident



Just be honest tell her you had suspicions for a while now about her and her ex boyfriend and that you felt you needed answers and since she wasn't giving you any answers you had to find out the answers on your own, more than likely she is going to turn this on you because you didn't trust her but then you counter that with, you have given me reasons not to trust you and now I see that my suspicions were right. Tell her you have the right to know if a person you plan to marry is honorable and loyal to you. Don't allow her to put the blame back on you, you did what you felt you need to do. Go to her and ask her about that night again and tell her that you want the truth about her whereabouts if she still says that she was with girlfriends then you tell her that you know for a fact that isn't true and then tell her that you drove by a place that you knew she frequented and tell her what you saw. She will do one of two things either apologize and explain the meeting or she will place the blame and then you just counter with what you want to say. The trust has already been broken on both sides so there is no going back there is only going forward and if you want this relationship to work you have to clear the air now.

Customer: replied 7 years ago.

Sorry one last thing. She had not given me any reason what so ever to not trust her until that day when she said to me (via text msg) that she couldn't meet up until after 8pm (origionally we were to meet at 7pm) When I asked her what she was going to be doing? She answered with what she was doing at that moment (going into the movies, how is your daughter doing?) She had just told me that Friday that he called her and wanted to meet up with her. But she also said she told him no because she was in love with me.


Here is how I was planning on telling her. " I have to tell you something and its eating me up inside. I lied to you, when I told you i went to Houlihans to have a drink, while waiting for you. I actually was going to Houston's to meet my cousin and I saw your car and his car parked in the parking lot of the mall by Rosa Mexicana (important cuz I asked where her and her girlfriends went she told me Rosa Mexicana. Please let me know what you think and this is my last reply. Thank you very much



Yes that is a good way of telling her that you saw their cars just as long as you do not lie, now is the time to be completely honest with each other if you plan to have a future together then you both have to work this out now.

KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 750
Experience: Relationship expert for almost three years with
KimberlyF and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

JustAnswer in the News:

Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.

What Customers are Saying:

  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Previous | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX

Meet The Experts:

  • Kate McCoy

    Kate McCoy


    Satisfied Customers:

    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
< Last | Next >
  • Kate McCoy's Avatar

    Kate McCoy


    Satisfied Customers:

    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
  • Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist


    Satisfied Customers:

    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • Ms Chase's Avatar

    Ms Chase

    Life Coach

    Satisfied Customers:

    Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
  • Alicia_MSW's Avatar



    Satisfied Customers:

    Specializing in relationship/family counseling
  • Dr. Norman Brown's Avatar

    Dr. Norman Brown

    Marriage Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    Family Therapist & teacher 35+ yrs; PhD research in couples
  • Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L


    Satisfied Customers:

    Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.
  • Suzanne's Avatar


    Therapist, LCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency

Related Relationship Questions