I need to know if I'm actually being abused mentally? In my first marriage I did suffer physical abuse and immediately left the marriage after one year but I now have been in my second marriage for 37 years and I've become who I'm not or was. My belief's are being stripped gradually and I don't know if it's him or me. I have been suffering medical issues that can't be explained and to proved to myself by going to my sons house for 4 days and did not have any of the physical medical I've been experienceing. Is there any one I could talk to , to help me? I have gone through counseling several times and, the only way I can explain it, is I become this giant oak tree and little bit by little bit this ax chops and chops until I'm kindling. Sinc
Thankyou so very much for your response. An answer to one of you comments that my husband may be worried financially does not fit our circumstances. Our child
ren are grown, married and have children. We have 6 grandsons and 3 grand-daughters. Even that has changed!!! When we married he had three children, ages 3,2,11mos. I had a 2 yr old. After 11yrs. we had a daughter together. Just recently the only child he bonds with , is her. She just had her second child, (on my birthday, as a matter of fact) and has no qualms any-time she needs a sitter or just pops in. If any of the others come he (excuse me)bitches about why are they here and now what do they want? It also upsets her that he reacts this way. It's just that, (I'm sure you heard this before) his motto is my money is none of your business but wants my SSD and Dis.Ret. which pays for a 1999 Harley motorcycle, two loans and one of my credit cards. I find this absolutely unfair and controlling!!! I was D.P.O.A. and Guardian for my parents the last 12yrs. in which I lost my mother last year on Good Friday. I still am responsible for my father. He lived with us for 1yr. and a half and continued to tell me if my father wasn't here there would be less stress between us. I moved ny dad to an assisted living facility 2mos. ago and not one thing has changed, in fact it's gotten worse!! I am a very intelligent person and have helped a lot of people including students on my bus route, which I miss very much since my accident. I am only 55yrs. young and I started turning white(not gray) white at the age of 16yrs. Now that I'm totally white I dye my hair to the brown it used to be and he dislikes it very much, but many, including our children love it, Especially me, but am accused of listening to others instead of him. My weight? I am smaller now than when he met me and with each surgery I have I become anemic and lose more all the time but am told about what I eat and How much...LI only weigh 145lbs. If I go visit family members I;m called wanting to know when I'll be home and I better not do this or that...When my housework is done and I get on the computer or watch a TV show I'm told (is that all you have to do is lay on your fat ass!!!) Get a job and do something with your life!!! I am very crafty and we have not even bought Xmas gifts for over 18yrs because I make them including the grandchildren. I do wedding decor and cakes when I can because of my restrictions and I get ,Are you getting paid for this? It just seems that all that matters to his little world is Money,Money,Money!! Yet with no question he goes out and buys any and all he wants. I am a very insecure individual and need companionship whether good or bad but to me this is really bad and very controlling. My mom stayed home and raised 7 of us and not once did my father ever tell her to get a job, he felt she had enough on her plate with us. When she was ill he took care of her plus worked. He is where I get my compassion from and hard working. I don't give up and try to believe there is a solution to every problem, but I haven't found one for this...Many, including his own family members don't agree on his way of thinking, but I still question? can we make it? He totally refuses to go to counseling and even tells me if I try to work things out he's heard enough of my counseling stragedies and do it on someone who cares. He has many good qualities but doesn't always show them. One can meet him for five minutes and says things... for instance:ON Valentines day I forgot it was even that day when one wished it to me and I replied; OH! I forgot cuz my husband isn't the sentimental type and he replied; I gathered that after just meeting him for five minutes...Do you have any further comments or suggestions?