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KimberlyF
KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
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Experience:  Relationship expert for almost three years with JustAnswer.com
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My husband is coming to see me in a couple of days, just for

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My husband is coming to see me in a couple of days, just for a few hours, this is the first time we have seen each other in a couple of months. We split up four months ago but he's been trying to split us up for over a year. I strongly suspect that another woman is involved and maybe he's now living with her. I have only this very short space of time to make a difference and want him to see that I'm the woman he should be with.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 5 years ago.

HiCustomer Thank you for asking your question on JustAnswer.

 

-What are your ages?

 

-How long have you been married?

 

-How long have you been separated?

 

-You don't know whether or not he is dating someone else?

 

-Could you explain your situation a little more?

Thank you again for trusting us with your problem. Please reply as soon as possible so that we can finish answering your question.

 

 

Customer: replied 5 years ago.

Hi Kimberley

 

I'm 59 years old and my husband is 55 years old. We have been together for 14 years and married for 9 years. He got me to move out of out home 4 months ago. He's coming to see me to sort out a problem I have with my landlord. We are still friends but I rarely contact him. I think he's seeing a 'friend' who split up with her husband at the same time. He denied it and I haven't pushed him on this because I want him back. But I don't have much opportunity to re-connect with him and I don't want to blow my chances. What can I do in the time frame, which is only about one afternoon. I know I have to appear confident and not needy. He says he still loves me but not in love with me. I know I've been negative and so he hasn't been communicating with me and I think this woman (if it is her) makes him feel good about himself (although she is the same age as I am). but then I'm not certain it could well be someone else. he doesn't live near me so I have no way of knowing what is going on. I'm all on my own now, no children or family and no job.

Expert:  KimberlyF replied 5 years ago.
Customer

 

It's common for people to fall into the rebound relationship trap after a break up. Your ex may be dating someone else and doesn't want you to know but he feels this sudden void to fill, 90% of rebound relationships don't work out because they have unresolved feelings for their ex and didn't give themselves time to heal from the relationship when a marriage ends it's almost as if you lost someone to death and with death you have to give yourself a grieving process so there is still hope to win your husband back if he has any feelings left for you at all. Try not to act immature or show that you dislike him dating someone else it will only push him further away and into the arms of the other woman if there is someone else. If you talk to him and he has feelings for you then make him think you already know that he has someone else he will start to think that if he doesn't stop seeing this other woman he may not have a chance with you.

 

Act as if you are okay with it if he sees that it bothers you he will do it more. Look hotter than you have ever looked when you meet him. This will create doubts in your exes mind as to whether he would be better off with you instead of without. Show confidence and show him that you are a new person and not the person he left, go back to whatever it was that made him so attracted to you. You can simply meet your ex and remind him about the strong relationship that you have had until now. Express regret for the marriage ending and do not place any blame that does no good when you are trying to get your marriage back on track you have to have willingness to take that extra step to get the relationship going again. If your ex too loves you and respects the relationship, then he will surely think about what you are saying and possibly come back ditch the date and get back with you. Don't beg him to come back but give him food for thought approach this meet different from any other meeting you have had with him since the separation.

 

Even though you may feel alone and lonely don't let him see that be positive and upbeat and look great, if he admits that he still loves you but isn't in love with you that means there is love there and that can easily be turned around. Don't ask him to take you back then give him some time to think about everything you say to him. If you look great and think positive he will leave there thinking what have I given up.

KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 750
Experience: Relationship expert for almost three years with JustAnswer.com
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