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Cher
Cher, Relationship Enthusiast
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 18294
Experience:  Extensive experience as Educator/Teacher, M.A., Counselor, Spouse, Parent, Psychic Advisor
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when your family is being an ass, how do you center and focus

Resolved Question:

when your family is being an ass, how do you center and focus yourself so someone doesn't break your spirit?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Cher replied 5 years ago.
Hello,

The only way to do this is to think of all your assets, things you do best, XXXXX XXXXX make you the great person that you are, and concentrate on doing what you do for others, that make you good person.

If you family disagrees with something you have done or are planning to do, first discussion is needed, but if that will be useless (you know from past experience), or you don't wish to do that, you have to believe enough in yourself and focus on all your good points, and have the fortitude to not let them break your spirit.

Continue to be positive and optimistic and seek help from a qualified source, if needed, but you can start the process yourself. Meditation and Yoga are great focusing tools, and you can attend classes if you've never done it on your own.

I hope things work out great for you!

Cher
Cher, Relationship Enthusiast
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 18294
Experience: Extensive experience as Educator/Teacher, M.A., Counselor, Spouse, Parent, Psychic Advisor
Cher and 2 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
my sister has helped me out consiberably lately, and I screwed up royally, nothing would make me happier, than to see her go to see you.
Expert:  Cher replied 5 years ago.
Hi again, Chip and thanks for your reply and your accept.

I am only able to answer online questions here, so if you would like your sister to post a question about your situation, I'd be happy to try to help.

Cher
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
oh hell no i can speak for myelf, and accept responsibilty for my actions, however i too am concerned about her health, she needs a relationship, and a meaningful one, she needs a way to "connect" with her close friends, and i need to pay a bit more attention to her than i do, not that i don't care about her, i do, we just need to find a common ground in which to coexist, because all of the headaches i have caused my mom, if we keep going like this, it's no going to be good, I DO SINCERELY XXXXX XXXXX the help my family has given me, if i can learn to help myself in a positive light, i know she can to, and if there was one person in this family who should have been an artist, it was my sister...
Expert:  Cher replied 5 years ago.
Hi again,

No, I meant if your sister wants to ask a question here, related to the situation between the two of you, I'd be happy to help her.

If you would like to give me a little more information about the situation in general, I might be able to help.

Cher
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
she can speak for herself, i think you need to X-XXXXXXX@XXXXXX.XXX
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
i believe that my sister was raped when she was young by a friend of my fathers, he was on a merchant marine ship in the gulf, that is why you need to talk with her, i believe if she could understand it in a way that only a woman would be able to answer that, that she would be way on her way to recovery, and would feel better about herslef as a person. i feel that once that innocence is taken from you that you feel the need to dominate all your personal matters like relationships, jobs, projects and so on...
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
i also need to clear the air about something in relation to loosing loved ones, i took a big f*cking step about my experince tonight, a big one ok. with that being said, my mom and aunt leise need to stop the bickering. NOW, not tomorrow, not next week NOW. Not only did i loose my 3rd family best friend in june, i witnessed some ugliness over finances...
Expert:  Cher replied 5 years ago.
Hi again,

We're not allowed to email privately, only to communicate on the site.

I'm so sorry this unfortunate incident happened to your sister when she was young, and seeing a counselor in person would be best for her. She does need to feel better about herself as a person, and a counselor experienced in dealing with victims of rape would be able to help her, as you suspect. Yes, it does change your life and your perspectives, and she needs to reconcile the situation.

Family members arguing about finances, is just the WORST! I can only imagine how you feel. Losing loved ones is always so difficult and even though the ache never goes away, it does get duller over time; but, you'll always carry your loved ones no longer with you, in your heart forever.

Cher
Cher, Relationship Enthusiast
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 18294
Experience: Extensive experience as Educator/Teacher, M.A., Counselor, Spouse, Parent, Psychic Advisor
Cher and 2 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
im sorry, i did not intentionally overstep my boundry like that, it has been getting to me for a while. i changed my policy over a guilt trip, sorry.
Expert:  Cher replied 5 years ago.
No problem; thanks very much for your reply and your accept, and I hope things improve for you and your sister, soon!

Cher
Cher, Relationship Enthusiast
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 18294
Experience: Extensive experience as Educator/Teacher, M.A., Counselor, Spouse, Parent, Psychic Advisor
Cher and 2 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

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