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KimberlyF
KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
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My grandmother passed away just over a week ago, and I have

Customer Question

My grandmother passed away just over a week ago, and I have not received any acknowledgement or gesture of condolence from my husband's family. We are not terribly close, but I would have expected some communication. Is the lack of action wrong? And could I address the situation in some way?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 5 years ago.

HiCustomer Thank you for asking your question on JustAnswer. By the way, it would help us to know:

 

-How long have you been married to him?

 

-Do you get along okay with his family?

 

-Did you tell your husband how you felt?


-Could you explain your situation a little more?

Thank you again for trusting us with your problem. Please reply as soon as possible so that we can finish answering your question.

Customer: replied 5 years ago.

Thank you for your response.

We celebrated two years of marriage on 1/14/08 (known one another nine months prior). We welcomed a son last June.

I get along with his father fine. His mother and I had a few problems while planning the wedding, but we resolved those. His sister and I were fine, but she had some problems with my husband which caused strain on the relationship. I recently learned that over the past year both my husband's sister and mother would complain about me (when they got mad at him, they would say ridiculous things and later apologize to him). I confronted them over Christmas and they admitted to be jealous and feel distant because we are not that close (my husband is deaf, and they have always been there to support him...but now he would rely on me). We agreed to move on from the bad blood (remember, I knew none of it as my husband hadn't told me about anything). Since then, his parents only call my husband when I am at work (I work full time and he works at home and helps with our son), and his sister only emails him. His sister got engaged a few weeks ago. I wrote a short note saying congratulations via email, and then I got a card and had my husband write (knowing the fancy card would speak enough that I picked out and his writing it would confirm his involvement) and both signed. A week later, we got an email from her saying lets get together for dinner. However, my grandmother died that week. I went to attend services in Mexico with our son. My husband did not go as he was tied to some business. He told his mother that we were there. His mother speaks to her daughter on a daily basis. Over a week has passed.

Expert:  KimberlyF replied 5 years ago.

Smryb,

 

The best thing for you to do is to tell them that they've hurt you and that you thought they would at least send their condolences about your grandmother, try talking to your husband about how much it hurt you and maybe he can relay the message to his family. If you want to keep the peace I would suggest you talking to your husband first and see what his input would be about the situation who knows his family better than he does. They may not have known how to approach you since they aren't too close with you. if you don't speak up it will only eat at you so you have to say something to someone, just try not to ruffle any feathers and cause friction, but if they are a loving family they will understand your pain and apologize for their lack of respect and courtesy for you losing your grandmother.

KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 750
Experience: Relationship expert for almost three years with JustAnswer.com
KimberlyF and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Thank you so much for your words of wisdom. It was helpful to get impartial advice.

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