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Cher, Relationship Enthusiast
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 18712
Experience:  Extensive experience as Educator/Teacher, M.A., Counselor, Spouse, Parent, Psychic Advisor
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My son recentlyleft his wife and child for another woman. The

Customer Question

My son recentlyleft his wife and child for another woman. The other woman is extremely controlling and devious, my son is oblivious. The other woman cannot have children, and is fixated on my Grandchild (5yrs) My son has allowed her to make decisions regarding his daughter. SHE is taking care of the divorce. SHE planned a birthday party inviting school mates, without any consideration for the Mom. SHE takes care of my Granddaugher while my son is at work. She has asked my Granddaughter to call her "Mom" telling others she is her Stepmother. I tried to just "talk" to my son, but somehow SHE has turned him against me, and the rest of our family. I have NEVER met anyone as Devious, Controlling, & Manipulative! I don't want to loose my son. Please advise!
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Cher replied 5 years ago.

How old is your son and how old is this woman?

Is your son and his ex-wife legally separated or divorced at this time?

How often does your son see his daughter and how often does her mother see her? Does she reside with her mother most of the time?

How long has your son been involved with this woman? Do they live together?

What sort of things did your son say in reaction to you talking to him about this situation?

Thanks for any additional detail.

Customer: replied 5 years ago.
My son is 25 and she is 32. My son and his wife and been separated since he left 5.5 months ago. He had gone out with friends, met her at a bar and then didn't go home and hasn't since. They've been living together. When this happened, naturally I was disappointed in the way he handled this situation. (just walking away from his daughter and a marriage) However, I haven't treated his GF or him rudely. They keep to themselves. I have only met her on one other occasion, which was New Years Eve. And now at my Granddaughters BDay Party. During each of these occasions I have made it a point to be non judgemental towards her. The GF however has verbally attacked me each time. Once on New Years Eve in person, and the 2nd has been through text messaging (I am not a big fan of txtg to communicate serious subjects) She let me know this last time that the only reason She invited me, was for "my Son and Granddaughters sake". It is not my intention to tear them apart. I had wanted to truly try and get to know her, but she is so defensive towards our whole family.
My Granddaughter stays 50% of the time with each parent. If I try to defend myself with my Son, she tells him that I am lying. I have no reason to lie. It's like she is threatened by us for some reason.
I was a single mother of 3, 2 girls 1 boy. He is the middle child. We have ALWAYS been extremely close.....until now. I don't know if I mentioned, I recently was told that the GF can't have children. I am just afraid that my Granddaughter has become a Pawn in her game. The GF is so peachy nice in front of everyone, but later strikes out. The GF is constantly putting The MOM down. Even the Mom has tried to talk to my Son....letting him know that SHE has overstepped her bounds, but he doesn't listen. He says that SHE just cares about him, and wants the best for him, that SHE is always there for him, that SHE loves his little girl. SHE indicates that WE are all being manipulative, and don't want him to be happy.
Expert:  Cher replied 5 years ago.
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