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I am 24 and he is 25, we were living together for about 2 years, 1year out of home then 1 year we moved in with his parents to save money.
We had a good relationship but it started to get stale i think livinbg with his parents helped this. I forgave him after I found out that he cheated on me, but then i found out they were still seeing each other, he says he doesnt know what he wants but there maybe a chance he wants this other girl even though she has a child, which he has said he wants nothing to do with, and he knows that doesnt have a future, he wants me to be his friend and meet every now and again to see if we can have fun, i still want to be with him and we cant seem to cut off contact but he said he is not ready to get back with me
as he needs time to realise what he wants. he still tells me he loves me but he is probably still seeing this other girl and i dont know what to do. He tells me that he doesnt want to be with her but then he tells me cant tell me for definite that she wont be in his future. do you think that they are still in contact and are meeting? why do you think he is doing this with this other girl if he knows there is no future? and he still tells me there is hope for us but i dont know what to believe?
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The first thing you have to figure out is to determine why exactly the breakup occurred. Even though you can't go back in the past to change the reason the breakup happened, you can learn from the mistake and try to grow from it, so that if he does decide it's you that he wants you don't want to make the same mistake again. I do believe that living with his parents dampened a lot in the romance department because you had no privacy and intimacy in the relationship the way you did when you lived alone. This could also be the reason he cheated, usually when a man is unhappy at home or in his relationship he will find someone outside of the relationship that can give him what he needs. No matter what the reason for the breakup was, you need to find out the specifics so you can learn how to deal with the situation later on.
Don't make yourself seem needy even if you feel you cannot live without him, there is no point in telling him that, he will still be confused as to what he wants. Instead stay strong, let him see that you are okay by yourself, and show him that you have self confidence and you are happy with yourself. Seeming needy or desperate will only push him further away. Trying to make your ex jealous is one of the worst things you can do if you want to get back with your ex, since all it is going to do is show him that you have moved on and that he should do the same. Instead, you want him to think that he was the best thing in your life, and that nobody compares to what he had to offer you, he will soon realize the two of you were great together despite the small differences. Also, avoid getting upset if he is seeing someone else, because you won't be able to stop it no matter what you try, you just have to give him time to make up his mind and decide if he wants you or the other woman. Setting up a meeting to talk with your ex is the best way to sort out the problems the two of you are having.