How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Cher Your Own Question

Cher
Cher, Relationship Enthusiast
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 18673
Experience:  Extensive experience as Educator/Teacher, M.A., Counselor, Spouse, Parent, Psychic Advisor
1470369
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
Cher is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

Hi I beeen dating with my boyfriend 4 months and was all good.

Resolved Question:

Hi I beeen dating with my boyfriend 4 months and was all good. His job involve a lot travelling and we see each other 4 times a month most. Couple weeks ago he was coming back home on saturday and propose to see me on tuesday next week, but I ask him what he is doing over weekend and he said house chores, I was really disapointed and send him a message that I really upset about it. He propose to come on trip with him and we can spend more time together. We did indeed see each other on tuesday and everything was fine and left again to travell for another week. WE keep in touch chattting on msn messenger when he is away. Again I been chatting to him yerstoday and he ask me what my plans for coming weekend and I reply do not have any plans yet and ask him what his plans are and guess he reply he is going out with his friends and busy again sunday. I felt like someone hit mi with hummer. My question is does he really likes me or he want just finished with me? I found his reply very rude.TH
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Cher replied 5 years ago.
HiCustomer

Thank you for asking your question on JustAnswer. The other Experts and I are working on your answer. By the way, it would help us to know:

What are your ages?

When you see him about 4 times a month, was it usually on a weekend? Does he mainly come home on weekends?

Was it understood that whenever he was home, you'd get together, or did you have to make a specific 'date' for a specific day and time?

Do you ever speak on the phone when he's away?

When he asked you to come on a trip with him, did this take place?

Do you suspect he is seeing someone else and his feelings toward you have cooled?

Thank you again for trusting us with your problem. Please reply as soon as possible so that we can finish answering your question.

Thanks,
Cher



Customer: replied 5 years ago.
What are your ages?

When you see him about 4 times a month, was it usually on a weekend? Does he mainly come home on weekends?

Was it understood that whenever he was home, you'd get together, or did you have to make a specific 'date' for a specific day and time?

Do you ever speak on the phone when he's away?

When he asked you to come on a trip with him, did this take place?

Do you suspect he is seeing someone else and his feelings toward you have cooled?

Thank you again for trusting us with your problem. Please reply as soon as possible so that we can finish answering your question.

Hi Cher

When my boyfriend was come back home we would agree a specific date and time to meet each other in hotel. Once on his birthday I was in his house and sure he is live alone. When he is away we never speak on phone, we use msn messenger or e-mail or sms. We never went on trip and he never mention again. I am not sure if he start seeing someone, but we are from different countries he is english and I am russian. Also before his last trip I told him that my divorce is almost finished , I did never told him that before, but he knew I separete from my internet profile. Also he usually at home two weeks and two weeks away. I think his feelings towards cool down now, because before he would be first ring me and ask when he can see me, but not last 3 weeks. I really want to speak to him about where our relationship is going , but not sure how can I do it or is really right thing to do. And I like him a lot and dont want to loose him. Would thank you for any advice.

Victoria
Expert:  Cher replied 5 years ago.
Hello again, Victoria, and thanks for your reply with additional and helpful information about your situation.

If you sense that his feelings for you have cooled down and you're seeing him less frequently when he's home from his work travel, I think you need to discuss this with him.

While I understand that you like him a lot and don't want to lose him, at the same time, you don't want to 'expect' to see him every time he's home, and then be disappointed. You also have the right to know if he's seeing other women, in addition to you. I think, at this time, it IS important that you speak to him about where your relationship is at, at this time, and where it is going, but you do need to be careful in how you choose your words. Asking him about 'now' is one thing, but asking him where the relationship is going, may scare him off, as most men are afraid of commitment; so, beginning a discussion re: why he doesn't seem as anxious to see you when he's home, recently, and ask him if you've done anything to hurt his feelings or upset him, that you're unaware of. If you start out this way, like, did *I* do something wrong?, if he says 'no', then you can ask him, why are we not seeing each other as much, lately? I miss seeing you.

He might tell you what you don't want to hear, that his feelings have cooled and he doesn't want to see you as much, or anymore, but, as hurtful as that may be, at least you'd know the truth and you can move on. He might say he's been really busy when he's home, etc., etc., which is fine, and don't push it too much at that time, but continue to communicate with him while he's away and wait for him to ask you to do something when he's home. If he doesn't call YOU, try not to call HIM. Let him wonder what YOU are up to, when he's not home, and also, when he's home.

Will he be home for Valentine's Day? Do you celebrate that holiday where you live? If so, see what he sends you or gives you (flowers, chocolate, etc.) and/or if you get together. If you know he'll be home, make up with him NOW, to see him on Saturday night to celebrate Valentine's Day.

I hope some of my advice has helped, but remember, you're in the 'live' situation, so you need to 'feel' it out and interpret his 'signals' and reactions to what you say, in order to get a better feel of where he is, in your relationship.

I hope things work out the way you want them too!

Cher
Cher, Relationship Enthusiast
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 18673
Experience: Extensive experience as Educator/Teacher, M.A., Counselor, Spouse, Parent, Psychic Advisor
Cher and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DE/deedeeham/2011-1-24_51523_408.64x64.JPG Dear Debra's Avatar

    Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy's Avatar

    Kate McCoy

    Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    1235
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1215
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/CO/CoachJenK/2012-3-9_31019_Jen.64x64.jpg Coach Jen K.'s Avatar

    Coach Jen K.

    LMSW, CPC

    Satisfied Customers:

    726
    Providing the utmost care and support.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    549
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    349
    Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/SU/suzmsw/2011-9-2_184634_Thisone.64x64.JPG Suzanne's Avatar

    Suzanne

    Therapist, LCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    338
    Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency
 
 
 

Related Relationship Questions