How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask KimberlyF Your Own Question

KimberlyF
KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 750
Experience:  Relationship expert for almost three years with JustAnswer.com
1572083
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
KimberlyF is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

I have family friend we have very healthy relationship. We

Customer Question

I have family friend we have very healthy relationship. We are two families but we live like one. Today I got a shaking mail from his wife that she wants friendship with me. The mail was very emotional and I thought she was just joking so I lust laugh at it and replied as “Good Joke”. But it turn out she was not, I started convincing her we are already friends what else she wants she is going to mess our friendship. All she wants “yes” or “No”. and she wants to keep it secret. I ask her if she is going through any marriage problem, She kept on saying she loves her husband, he is her best friend, they are married for 7 years, but she wants a friend with whom she can share anything and she found that in me. My dilemma is if I say “YES” I feel like I am cheating both family. If I say NO I am losing a friend, I know her for more than 3 years she is very family oriented, knowing her I never thought in my dreams she will do such thing. any idea to save the family relation and not hert her.
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 6 years ago.

John Dale 1972,

 

You have to wonder what kind of friend would put you in that situation if they truly cared about you. A true friend would never do that not to mention to her family whom she claims to love and cherish. If your friendship with her family and her husband mean anything to you, you will tell her no and that you don't want to lose the friendship but you cannot betray your friend like that and have a clear conscience. Tell her that you are flattered but you just cannot do that to her husband and she shouldn't do anything to jeopardize her family life. I'm sure if she thinks about it she will realize you are right and if she is any kind of friend she will not be mad at you for having the best interest of her family at heart, she might be a little upset at first but with time she will realized how right you really were. I would keep the emails though just in case you need proof if she tries to break up your friendship with her husband by putting it all on you. I really don't think you would be hurting her by telling her no, you will be actually saving her marriage and your friendship. Friendship is about trust, loyalty, honesty and respect, respect yourself and your friendship with her husband and tell her no.

Customer: replied 6 years ago.

Thanks Kim,

 

You are right, I can not loose her husband's friendship on her madness. As I mention I know this family for more then three year, and we are very close. is it possible she is in some kind of mental problem or going throught rought time. is it wise to talk throught her and her husband.

Thanks,

 

 

Expert:  KimberlyF replied 6 years ago.

John Dale 1972,

 

All you can do is be a friend if she is going through a tough time then maybe you should talk her into seeking some help like therapy or counseling. She may be going through a depression or not quite feeling appreciated, with everyday dealings with family and work she may be feeling a bit lonely that is a problem she has to work out with her husband all you can do is be there as a friend.

KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 750
Experience: Relationship expert for almost three years with JustAnswer.com
KimberlyF and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 6 years ago.

Thanks Kim,

 

I am glad I posted this question.

I don't know in what words I tell her but definitely "NO" is the answer.

Thanks

John

Expert:  KimberlyF replied 6 years ago.
THIS ANSWER IS LOCKED!
You can view this answer by clicking here to Register or Login and paying $3.
If you've already paid for this answer, simply Login.

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Previous | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Kate McCoy

    Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    1637
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy's Avatar

    Kate McCoy

    Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    1637
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    914
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/mschase2u/2009-01-04_010319_chaseface.jpg Ms Chase's Avatar

    Ms Chase

    Life Coach

    Satisfied Customers:

    853
    Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/AL/aliciamiller/2012-4-9_21330_profilepicture.64x64.jpg Alicia_MSW's Avatar

    Alicia_MSW

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    406
    Specializing in relationship/family counseling
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/NP/nphbrown/2012-7-30_24048_ImYrManSerious1.64x64.jpg Dr. Norman Brown's Avatar

    Dr. Norman Brown

    Marriage Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    401
    Family Therapist & teacher 35+ yrs; PhD research in couples
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    364
    Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/SU/suzmsw/2011-9-2_184634_Thisone.64x64.JPG Suzanne's Avatar

    Suzanne

    Therapist, LCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    338
    Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency