Let me start by saying it's hard with stereotypes to know when you are doing the right thing (in dating outside your race) because it has been said that people should date their own race it's refreshing to see that someone chose their mate because of their character and not their race, now with that being said I'm going to answer each question you had:
1. I don't think it's race that keeps him from showing you affection in public I think it's more a gender thing some men just don't feel comfortable showing affection in public because they feel it makes them seem like less of a man or like they are weak. It may also be how the public views interracial dating he may not want you to have to suffer any backlash because of it especially if you say he is protective of you. You may want to tell him that you don't care if people look when you show each other affection this may allow him to show it more often. You have to tell him how you feel, if you feel you need more public affection, communicate this to him.
2. Men period can be players it's not really a race thing you just have to know the warning signs as to whether you are dating a player or not. If he has a lot of female friends but doesn't introduce them to you and these girls call him too much late at night or if he won't commit to you and allow you to meet his friends and keeps you a secret from his family then you should be worried about his intentions but that isn't just one race some men just are like this sometimes it stems from their growing up without a father or a learned behavior from friends and wanting to feel tough and untouchable.
3. You're so right, that Love is nothing to take lightly or throw the word around but sometimes couples are both afraid to say those words first so they often go unsaid because of fear. There is nothing wrong with being honest about your feelings maybe if you are honest about your feelings he will in turn be able to be honest about his. He may be waiting for you to show him or hint to him that you feel this way. Don't believe the stereotypes not all black men are afraid of the word love. Don't miss out on possibly the best thing to happen to you because you listen to stereo types often times stereotype are false and not always accurate, I've seen players in all different kind of men not just black. Communicate how you feel, relationships and marriage are about taking chances and try asking him how feels about you and where he sees the relationship going and if he runs from that then maybe he wasn't the right man for you. Remember love is color blind.
Try writing it down and send it to him or practice what you wrote ahead of time and practicing it before you decide to tell him how you feel. If you are too uncomfortable abotu tell him in person of course you can write many people do that but make sure you get a reaction from him also, I will read the letter if you like.
the "letter" was a personal card that i was working on for valentines.your the first one to read it. i wondered if you could tell me if the tone is good, or if im giving wrong impression with this? here goes:
You smiled at me and I forgot to breath, let alone speak. Thinking to myself "why does he have to look so gorgeous?" I watched you with secret wants, sneaking sniffs of you while I passed. When you talked, the Jersey sound gave each word its own personality. Would your skin taste as good as it looked. Where you were that delicious chocolate color EVERYWHERE. How would I feel with your flawless dark hands upon my white freckled body? These thoughts were very enticing and slightly worried.
My chance to find out if all these things were as good as I imagined came in the form of bowling. You projected this image of control, would you be like that when we were alone. Having your "gonna getcha" eyes on me did crazy things to my body and my game. Belly constantly fluttering from not knowing what was to follow. You had this "just you wait and see" smile on your beautiful lips for me. When you touched me, would it be gentle and light or would it be urgent and strong? I would blush from head to toe as I secretly wished for your teasing actions to become a real invitation. I could show you my finely tuned talents that only this Molish woman has!
My skin still tingles with the smallest brush of your hands or the caress of your breath on my back while we sleep. Your body warm and giving as I fall asleep within your arms. The sound of my name slipping from your kissable lips sends me into a melted state. The moment right before I first see you I have this feeling that I can‘t find words for. You still make me blush like crazy. Feeling like a young girl getting her first kiss or wink.
There is no definite forever in this world....just chances and letting them happen. Moments in life that will forever be remembered or tossed back to the wind for some one else. I don't know what is going to happen with you and I. I have no concrete expectations nor do I want your promises. I just want a chance to see where these moments will take us. MAYBE if I am lucky.... I can finally have the highest score, do the victory dance on the lane for kicking your butt! Most of all I would like a chance to give moments of happiness and blush like crazy. Moments so I can tell you what a wonderful man you are and becoming each time I see you. Opportunities to make your heart race. Letting me give you that tingling sensation that only comes from the soft, slow caress of skin. Chances to see you become excited by life and my "just you wait" smiles.
That was really a sweet letter and I would suggest you give it to him on Valentine's Day trying added at the end of your letter:
__________(his name) makes it more personal
Do you think this could be us? Will you ever give me a chance to have it all with you? I've grown to care alot about you and often wonder if these things could ever be possible.
that does sound good.....you must be a romantic at heart
thank you for your help and advice. have a blessed day mam
You're quite welcome and please let me know how you make out.