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Cher
Cher, Relationship Enthusiast
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 20966
Experience:  Extensive experience as Educator/Teacher, M.A., Counselor, Spouse, Parent, Psychic Advisor
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how do I know if my girlfriend is a slut

Resolved Question:

how do I know if my girlfriend is a slut?
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Cher replied 7 years ago.
Hello Jerome,

May I ask you age? And how old is your girlfriend?

Do you suspect your girlfriend may be a slut? If so, why? Do you have any specific examples of behavior that would lead you to believe that, or have other people told you things about her?

How long have you been going out?

Thanks for all your additional detail.

Cher
Customer: replied 7 years ago.
I'm 42 she is 38.we been together for 17 months
her friends says she dates men just for their money n she has said she used to date men only for money but she is not like that with me she says she loved me.I recently caught her with a 67 year old man in bar ,he was all over her n she was touching his face n shoulders.when I confronted her she apoligized and explained she was drunk .she also said it would never happen again
She has always been over friendly and flirtatious but it has gotten better with me.is she a slut n do she love me and if she is,can she change?
Expert:  Cher replied 7 years ago.
Hello again, Jerome and thanks for your reply with helpful information.

Some women can just be naturally bubbly, very friendly, 'touchy-feely' (like putting a hand on a shoulder, etc.) and flirtatious, with men, but that doesn't qualify her as a slut.

If you've been with her for almost a year and half, and she says she loves you, I wouldn't doubt that, unless she gives you a real reason to.

It all comes down to trust, and if you trust her and believe she loves you, I don't think you should worry. However, you should keep her from going to bars without you, and getting drunk--try to go out with her, so she won't do anything foolish if she's had too much to drink, and you can be her knight in shining armor! : )

I hope everything will work out well for you both!

Cher
Customer: replied 7 years ago.
what should I do to move forward
Expert:  Cher replied 7 years ago.
Hello again, Jerome, and thanks for your reply.

You asked: "what should I do to move forward"

Do you mean move forward with your relationship, or to move forward without her?

Thanks,
Cher
Customer: replied 7 years ago.
what should I do to move forward with the relationship
how do I get past the jealousy
Expert:  Cher replied 7 years ago.
Thanks, XXXXX XXXXX your clarification.

I think the only way to get past the jealousy of her past actions is to trust her to not act in this manner any more, and have a heart to heart talk with her, saying, there's no need to act like this, you're with me now, and trust is a very important aspect of our relationship.

You have to believe in the two of you, and that she won't do this again. If she does do it again, she may not be the girl for you, as you shouldn't have to worry about her actions with other men.

The only way to get past the jealousy is to believe she's being true to you.

Cher
Customer: replied 7 years ago.
How do I have a heart to heart talk
without pointing fingers or anyone feelings getting hurt
Expert:  Cher replied 7 years ago.
Tell her that you you've heard some less than flattering things about her past, and she has said now that she's with you, she's not like that anymore and she has said that she loves you, so you want to be sure that
that kind of behavior is behind her and she won't be getting drunk and flirting with older men, or ANY men, from now on, as it's hurtful to you, and what you thought your relationship was all about. Tell her if she has really changed, as she said she has, you will be all she wants or needs, you love her very much, and HER happiness is THE most important thing to you, so you want to make sure she's safe and always feels loved.

Cher
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