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Cher
Cher, Relationship Enthusiast
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 18511
Experience:  Extensive experience as Educator/Teacher, M.A., Counselor, Spouse, Parent, Psychic Advisor
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Will my narcissistic ex boy friend come back

Resolved Question:

I was involved with this man for 18 months. We are both divorced and in our early 50s. He came on very strong, claimed he loved me so much and wanted to get married. He was very frustrated that I wouldn't committ to marrying him. I don't understand why he wouldn't wait if he really loved me like he said he did. I have 2 children. One in college the other a junior in high school. I wanted to wait until my son graduated from HS. We were only talking about 2 years. He said he got tired of waiting and is already involved w/a nother woman.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Cher replied 5 years ago.
Hi,

From your description, it sounds like your ex-boyfriend is the type that must always be with a woman, or he feels lost. He also seems to want to be married, more than he wants quality or stability in a relationship.

If he is narcissistic, as you mentioned, he needs to be 'adored' and when you explained to him that you wanted to wait until your son graduated from High School, to get married, although he may have loved you, as he claimed, he didn't want to wait, because it didn't suit 'his' schedule.

The fact that he's already involved with another woman, doesn't speak well to the vows of love he made to you, not that long ago.

If he is the man of your dreams and you're miserable without him and can envision a life with him, down the line, pursue him and ask why he isn't willing to wait the two years, which would make YOU feel more comfortable. If he truly loved you and truly wanted to marry you, as long as you were together and happy, the two year wait shouldn't have mattered that much to him. Maybe he thought that if you waited that long, you might change your mind and then he would have invested 3½ years of his life with you, only to be dumped. Some men think this way.

In my opinion, I don't think he really loved you, if he could leave so quickly and end up being involved with someone else, so quickly. I'm not saying he didn't love you or think he loved you, at the time he spoke the words; I think his actions spoke louder than his words.

I know it's easier said than done, but try to move on, as he has, and if you don't want to get too serious with any man until your son graduates H.S., date casually, until then. However, if you find someone you truly care for, nourish the relationship and make your intentions known from the very beginning, that you will not be ready to take any serious steps in the relationship until the time that your son graduates.

I wish you much good luck!

Cher
Cher, Relationship Enthusiast
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 18511
Experience: Extensive experience as Educator/Teacher, M.A., Counselor, Spouse, Parent, Psychic Advisor
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