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Walter, Relationship Mentor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 11528
Experience:  Mentoring couples on relationship issue and self understanding. (JA's Relationship Mentor)
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I am overweight. I have gained and lost weight several times

Customer Question

I am overweight. I have gained and lost weight several times including three gastric surgeries. Currently weigh 303 lbs, having lost 30 lbs in last 2 months. I will be 50 years old in May. I am alone and very, very lonely. Disabled, lots of health problems mainly with pain and orthopaedic problems. I really want to meet someone to spend the rest of my life with. But men just will NOT give a fat person the time of day.   How can I find someone and be in a healthy relationship?
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 6 years ago.




The only way you are going to find someone to love you and spend your life with you have to work on the person you see in the mirror every day, if you are not happy within yourself and who you are there is no way you can make anyone else happy. With Gastric surgery it works differently for everyone and no two people are alike some people lose a lot and others it takes more time. Losing 30 in two months think of it as a good start and don't expect a miracle overnight it didn't take you overnight to put that weight on and it's not going to take that to get it off it's going to have to take dedication and determination. Once you start working on you and loving you more it will make it so much easier to find and love someone and share your life with. The most important relationship you will ever have is with yourself. We can be our own worst enemy especially when it comes to raising our confidence, ending depression, moving beyond diets or overeating behaviors, or just plain wanting to live a happier, fulfilled life, you have to learn how to love yourself and who you are.


You have decided that who you are and what you want is important. Self love involves deciding to connect with yourself about your dreams and then supporting yourself with encouraging thoughts and positive attitude. Try to praise yourself for the weight you have lost and the hard work it took to lose that weight. Instead of saying "I only lost 30 pounds." Try saying "I lost 30 pounds in two months that is a great start!" Once you start losing more weight your confidence will become more noticeable and your healthy issues will become less disabling. Positive thinking is a must when trying to lose weight if you think down on yourself and your weight it makes you eat that's called comfort food. Instead of always focusing on the problem, decide to focus on desired outcomes. Acknowledge your efforts and your successes, instead of seeing everything as a failure. Once you have worked on yourself and your inner happiness everything will fall into place

Customer: replied 6 years ago.



Kimberly Ann:


Everything you said in your reply I already know. I once lost 200 lbs and got down to 206, but it still did not help. My inner problem comes from issues of negativity and my mother. I have been in therapy for years, but still nothing gets better. I appreciate your time though. I was really wanting answers from the male perspective. I will pay you, but cannot till I make a deposit Monday, or else I will have an overdraft. Sorry, I do not have any charge cards. Thank you anyway. Chris

Expert:  KimberlyF replied 6 years ago.


Do not pay me and I will send you to a male relationship expert. Good luck to you!

Expert:  Walter replied 6 years ago.
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