How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Walter Your Own Question

Walter
Walter, Relationship Mentor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 11528
Experience:  Mentoring couples on relationship issue and self understanding. (JA's Relationship Mentor)
997364
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
Walter is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

I am overweight. I have gained and lost weight several times

Customer Question

I am overweight. I have gained and lost weight several times including three gastric surgeries. Currently weigh 303 lbs, having lost 30 lbs in last 2 months. I will be 50 years old in May. I am alone and very, very lonely. Disabled, lots of health problems mainly with pain and orthopaedic problems. I really want to meet someone to spend the rest of my life with. But men just will NOT give a fat person the time of day.   How can I find someone and be in a healthy relationship?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 5 years ago.

 

Customer

 

The only way you are going to find someone to love you and spend your life with you have to work on the person you see in the mirror every day, if you are not happy within yourself and who you are there is no way you can make anyone else happy. With Gastric surgery it works differently for everyone and no two people are alike some people lose a lot and others it takes more time. Losing 30 in two months think of it as a good start and don't expect a miracle overnight it didn't take you overnight to put that weight on and it's not going to take that to get it off it's going to have to take dedication and determination. Once you start working on you and loving you more it will make it so much easier to find and love someone and share your life with. The most important relationship you will ever have is with yourself. We can be our own worst enemy especially when it comes to raising our confidence, ending depression, moving beyond diets or overeating behaviors, or just plain wanting to live a happier, fulfilled life, you have to learn how to love yourself and who you are.

 

You have decided that who you are and what you want is important. Self love involves deciding to connect with yourself about your dreams and then supporting yourself with encouraging thoughts and positive attitude. Try to praise yourself for the weight you have lost and the hard work it took to lose that weight. Instead of saying "I only lost 30 pounds." Try saying "I lost 30 pounds in two months that is a great start!" Once you start losing more weight your confidence will become more noticeable and your healthy issues will become less disabling. Positive thinking is a must when trying to lose weight if you think down on yourself and your weight it makes you eat that's called comfort food. Instead of always focusing on the problem, decide to focus on desired outcomes. Acknowledge your efforts and your successes, instead of seeing everything as a failure. Once you have worked on yourself and your inner happiness everything will fall into place

Customer: replied 5 years ago.

 

 

Kimberly Ann:

 

Everything you said in your reply I already know. I once lost 200 lbs and got down to 206, but it still did not help. My inner problem comes from issues of negativity and my mother. I have been in therapy for years, but still nothing gets better. I appreciate your time though. I was really wanting answers from the male perspective. I will pay you, but cannot till I make a deposit Monday, or else I will have an overdraft. Sorry, I do not have any charge cards. Thank you anyway. Chris

Expert:  KimberlyF replied 5 years ago.
Customer

 

Do not pay me and I will send you to a male relationship expert. Good luck to you!

Expert:  Walter replied 5 years ago.
THIS ANSWER IS LOCKED!
You can view this answer by clicking here to Register or Login and paying $3.
If you've already paid for this answer, simply Login.

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DE/deedeeham/2011-1-24_51523_408.64x64.JPG Dear Debra's Avatar

    Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy's Avatar

    Kate McCoy

    Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    1235
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1215
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/CO/CoachJenK/2012-3-9_31019_Jen.64x64.jpg Coach Jen K.'s Avatar

    Coach Jen K.

    LMSW, CPC

    Satisfied Customers:

    726
    Providing the utmost care and support.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    549
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    349
    Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/SU/suzmsw/2011-9-2_184634_Thisone.64x64.JPG Suzanne's Avatar

    Suzanne

    Therapist, LCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    338
    Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency
 
 
 
Chat Now With A Counselor
Walter
Walter
Counselor
11528 Satisfied Customers
Mentoring couples on relationship issue and self understanding. (JA's Relationship Mentor)