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Ms Chase
Ms Chase, Life Coach
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2897
Experience:  Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
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is it possible to redeem myself after being a pshco

Customer Question

I've been dating a guy for 4 months. I got drunk and left a bunch of terrible texts, each one meaner and nastier and personal designed to hurt him, because I was mad. then I left a bunch of Nasty phone messages because I was mad because he hadn't called me and I couldn't get a hold of him. He doesn't want to see me anymore, obviously. Is there hope I may somehow redeem myself. The guilt alone is killing me. Please help.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 5 years ago.
Hello,

How did the two of you meet?

What are your ages?

All of what you did was because he hadn't called you?

Did he have a habit of not calling you?

Are you trying to get back with him or just apologize?

Is this something that normally happens when you drink?

Chase
Customer: replied 5 years ago.

We met at a hearing, both working. He is 52 and I am 41(I know, hard to believe!) Yes. Because I hear from all the time for days saying nice things then suddenly, nothing for three or four days. I totally want to get back with him because I believe there is a lot of potential. Also I really want to apoligize, I just don't know what I can say that will help at this point. Not normally, but I'm am guilty of this same behaivor with this guy once or twice before only not to this magnitude!

 

Thanks Chase!

 

Expert:  Ms Chase replied 5 years ago.
Hello Cindy,

Thank you for that additional information.

Has he ever been clear about why you won't hear from him for three or four days? Do you think he is involved with someone else?

How much time do you spend together? Do you work together?

Do you talk more on the phone, text, or see each other in person?

Who calls who usually?

When you say you are guilty of this behavior, did it happen after you had drinks?

Do you think that you are able to say more of how you feel after you've had a few drinks than you can when you're sober?

Chase
Customer: replied 5 years ago.

No. He has a sometime gfriend, but he claims that they are going their separate ways. I usually only see him every two weeks for a couple of days and we have a great time, no fight. there is a lot of texting and when we do talk on the phone it's usually for one to three hours. He calls me because every time I call him it goes directly to his voicemail. So I gave up. Yes, I was drunk and got weird ideas. No. I always can say how I feel. it's when I've had too much to drink I get suspicious and act like a freak!!! Thank you, Chase. I hope you can help. I feel like dirt.

 

Expert:  Ms Chase replied 5 years ago.
There are many times in our lives when we do something that we suffer regret for, sometimes those things can be reconciled and sometimes they can't. It sounds to me that when you got drunk you said a little more about how you were feeling about the whole situation than you may have wanted to. "Dating" someone who doesn't call for days at a time is a great way to become suspicious, same with the machine picking up every time you call. The best thing you can do is give him a little time to get past what happened, and maybe drop him an email if he won't talk to you on the phone. Admit that you may have overreacted, but the fact that he never answers when you pick up, and the not calling for days at a time is making you feel like he's hiding things from you. Let him know that you had a few drinks and blew things out of proportion. There's not much else you can do but apologize (assuming you don't want to grovel, which i don't think you should, you are more in the right on this than he is from my point of view). I welcome your thoughts, let me know if you want to talk more

Chase
Ms Chase, Life Coach
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2897
Experience: Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
Ms Chase and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Thanks, you're right.
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 5 years ago.
You're welcome Cindy. Feel free to request me by name anytime you need to talk. You can simply ask for MsChase in your subject line, and I would be happy to help

All the best

Chase

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