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KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
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Experience:  Relationship expert for almost three years with
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I was going out with a guy for 10 months and we really connected

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I was going out with a guy for 10 months and we really connected and I know I fell for him. However, out of the blue, he said he did'nt think he could have a loving relationship with me but had also said that I lit his fire and made he feel I was very confused. He was married previously and his wife had an affair and left him. He still had feelings for his x that was evident and he had said to me in the past that he has already had a loving relationship??
It has been a few months now and I admit, I have not bee able to help myself with texts and emails but just to let him know I am still here. Despite that he does reply but I'm affriad that I have driven him away.
I have been upset over the months but I know I had fallen in love with him. I feel the only reason he could'nt continue with me was that he just was'nt ready and otherwise we were good together.
Do I tell him, how he made me feel?? Or if I do give him too much space, I am afraid of losing him completely??
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 7 years ago.



You're dealing with a double edge sword because if you continue to text him and contact him you could push him further away and if you leave him alone and not contact him for a while he may take that as you moving on or not being interested in him anymore. I suggest to you to write to him and tell him how you feel and then give it time this way he knows that you still care but are willing to give him the times he needs to make up his mind. See if he replies and if he does then communicate with him if he does not then give him time to think about everything you wrote to him, make the letter as long as you need it to be express all of your feelings about the way things ended and what he said about you lighting his fire and making him feel good. Tell him how his breaking up with you hurt you but you understand why he had to do it. Maybe if you tell him that you understand that he still has feelings for his ex he will know that you truly do understand him and care about his well being. After you write the letter wait for him to read it and possibly reply and if he doesn't reply give it several weeks like two or three and then text him saying you were thinking about him and wanted to know how he was doing and leave it at that. If you are overbearing with your contact he will not even consider coming back you have to keep contact at a minimum unless he contacts you first.

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