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KimberlyF
KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
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Experience:  Relationship expert for almost three years with JustAnswer.com
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I really dont know where to start from. My ex girlfriend broke

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I really dont know where to start from. My ex girlfriend broke up with me over a year ago. I tried everything to get her back at first! then i stopped because she wasnt giving in. At one point she contacted me saying she misses me and also her boyfriend was treating her badly. I didnt know if she was playing a trick so i went along with it and after somedays i had to tell her i still had strong feelings for her after 8months of breaking up. she told me she didnt want to hurt me and she didnt think it was going to work out a second time. She said her current boyfriend loves her and also he lives closer to her. so in my mind it was more of a convinient situation for her. I have since not spoken or communicated with her apart from xmas day when i sent her xmas and new year wishes, which i didnt get any reply. I have been out with few girls and also try to concentrate more on myself, but i still cant get over her. I know i really really love this girl and i just want her back. Can you help
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 5 years ago.

HiCustomer Thank you for asking your question on JustAnswer. By the way, it would help us to know:

 

-What are your ages?

 

-How long did you date?

 

-Do you want help learning how to get her back or get over her?

Thank you again for trusting us with your problem. Please reply as soon as possible so that we can finish answering your question.

Customer: replied 5 years ago.

Am "24 and she's 19

we dates for over 2 years

I want help on how to get her back. Thanks

Expert:  KimberlyF replied 5 years ago.
Customer

 

A break up is hard enough let alone still having strong feelings for your ex and to make things worse is when they move on to someone else and you are left to wonder what you could possibly do to get them back now that they have moved on. It seems she got into a rebound relationships and if this is the case then they're not meant to be and won't last. The only purpose of the rebound relationship is to take their mind off of their ex. When a person doesn't take time out to close one relationship before starting another it usually doesn't last because that person didn't really resolve their feelings for their ex. One thing you can do is wait it out and plan your move on your ex as soon as things go south with the current boyfriend, and it very likely will but it will take some time. Take this time you have to think about the good times you both had with each other. Think about what made her attracted to you and what made you attracted to her, decide if those qualities are still there, and if not, focus on a game plan to get them back.

 

The first step in learning how to get back together with your ex is to determine why exactly the breakup happened. Even though you can't go back into the past to change the reason the breakup happened, you can learn from the mistake and try to grow from it and learn not to make the same mistake twice. Also don't make yourself seem needy. Even though almost everyone feels like they need to express to their ex that they cannot live without them, there is no point in telling her that. Instead stay strong, let your ex see that you are okay by yourself. Seeming needy or desperate will only push your her further away, so make sure to maintain your confidence to get her back to you. If she knows that you are sitting around pining for her she will take longer to make up her mind as to whether to come back or not because she knows you are waiting.

 

She has to want to come back and right now she may not be ready so you have to be willing to be patient and wait until giving it a time limit if you get impatient and angry it will make her think that not much has changed and she will be even more reluctant to take you back. Try hanging out where she hangs out but don't go alone just keep your face fresh in her mind. If she sees you enough she may start to reminisce and possibly want you back and make more contact with you like she did before. Also you may want to try to just be her friend whenever she needs someone to talk to be there if she knows she can depend on you she will realize that you are the best man for her.

Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Thanks a lot for your advice. At the moment she aint talking to me. i really dont know for what reason. I definately wouldnt mind just been their as her friend as i want is for her to be happy. if only she would give me the chance of been her friend at least> should i message her asking for friendship and hope i am not sending the wrong signal to her?
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 5 years ago.
Customer

 

If she will not talk to you then maybe writing to her and telling her that you want to be her friend may be in order here just as long as she knows that you want to be there for her but it could be possible that she doesn't talk to you because of her boyfriend.

Customer: replied 5 years ago.
I dont want to sound like am dumb. just dont know how to frase it to her can you help please
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 5 years ago.
Customer

 

Try wording it where it doesn't sound at all like you are trying to get back together with her something like this:

 

___________,

 

I am writing to you to see how you are doing? I contacted you several weeks ago to wish you well with no response and I wanted to reassure you that I am only coming to you in friendship. I understand that you've moved on and are now dating someone and I respect that but that doesn't mean we cannot be cordial and try to be friends. I would like to be there for you if you allow me to but if it's going to cause confusion and problems then I understand also. We shared some really good times together and just because we are no longer together does not mean we can't be friends and that is all I offer you.

 

Make it something to that affect so that she doesn't feel awkward allowing her boyfriend to see it.

 

KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 750
Experience: Relationship expert for almost three years with JustAnswer.com
KimberlyF and 4 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
thanks a lot that would really help. many thanks for your help. I will accept and will let you know how it went>

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