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KimberlyF
KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
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Experience:  Relationship expert for almost three years with JustAnswer.com
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My boyfriend cheated on his wife and got caught, she gave him

Resolved Question:

My boyfriend cheated on his wife and got caught, she gave him another chance. He cheated again and got caught. His wife kicked him out. Three years later we started dating and I am having a very hard time thinking that he's going to do it again, although he's claiming that he didn't really love her and never had a good example from his parents and thaught that as long as they didn't fight things were ok. He tries very hard to gain my trust but he still thinks it's ok to flirt with attractive women which makes me trust him even less. I love him and we want to get married but I am paralyzed by the fear of being cheated on. Any suggestions on how to learn how to trust someone and whether it's even worth it.
Submitted: 8 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 8 years ago.

HiCustomer Thank you for asking your question on JustAnswer. By the way, it would help us to know:

 

-What are your ages?

 

-How long have you been together?


-Do you think that he may have cheated at all during your relationship?

Thank you again for trusting us with your problem. Please reply as soon as possible so that we can finish answering your question.

Expert:  KimberlyF replied 8 years ago.
Customer

 

It's hard to make a relationship work to begin with but when you do not trust your partner it makes it doubly hard. Until you have concrete proof that he has cheated on you, your only choice is to try and trust that he is being faithful and will continue to do so. Relationships are about taking chances I'm sure we all wish that we had a way of knowing if someone is going to cheat on you or not. If he is consistent and reliable then you have no choice but to trust him. I do not believe that once someone is a cheater that they are always a cheater, I believe that if someone wants to be loyal they can be loyal to their relationship or marriage through self control and respect for their mate.

 

 

If he didn't care for his wife then he wouldn't try as hard to make her happy because she wasn't making him happy. You have to trust your partner and he has to do the same to you, trusting is a two way street. If you show that you are loyal more than likely he will do the same. Try not to keep secrets from each other even if they are little secrets, little secrets can become bigger secrets. Always tell the truth to each other if you tell one lie then you have to tell another lie to cover that lie and that isn't a way to keep trust in the relationship even if the truth hurts it's better than a lie because then it becomes easy to tell a lie. Never be reluctant to communicate your needs to him and what you want out of the relationship if he knows this going into the relationship or marriage then he will know what you expect from him. It takes work for a relationship to work and it takes both sides being willing to work and take the good with the bad.

 

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