How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask KimberlyF Your Own Question

KimberlyF
KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 750
Experience:  Relationship expert for almost three years with JustAnswer.com
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
KimberlyF is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

I am a 24 yr old mother of two children, ages 6 and 2. My 6

Resolved Question:

I am a 24 yr old mother of two children, ages 6 and 2. My 6 year old has developmental disabilities and has a mentality of a 4 year old. I'm living with my boyf of 6 months in my 3 bedroom apt. (We went out 8 years ago in high school for a month and remained email friends thru-out the 8 years). He's not motivated, works at a grocery store, has two children of his own (ages 8 and 2) - his 8 yr old has had lice for the last year. I need help financially paying our $1300 rent. No, that's a lie. I can pay our rent and most of the bills (I have no extra's - no cable, no phone, etc) on my own but it's much easier when he's giving me his $600 month. I want to know if this relationship is worth staying in? Idon't know if I love him.. sometimes I think I might... but between the drama from his kids' mothers, and me struggling to pay the bills and rent and try to take care of my own kids... I just don't know anymore. Please help me. I have no family members to get advice from.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 5 years ago.

Hi j23castle. Thank you for asking your question on JustAnswer. By the way, it would help us to know:

 

-What are your ages?

 

-Does his children live with you or their mothers?

 

-Have you talked to him about this?


-Could you explain your situation a little more?

Thank you again for trusting us with your problem. Please reply as soon as possible so that we can finish answering your question.

Customer: replied 5 years ago.
I just turned 24 in October. He is turning 27 in April.

His 2 yr old son is dropped off when ever his mother wants to go out drinking and needs childcare (which is atleast 4 times a week).

His 8 yr old daughter comes over on Friday and leaves Sunday night. Since her head lice never goes away because her mother is irresponsible... I transformed my kids playroom to be half-playroom, half her room so she doesn't infect my sons.

I have tried talking. He just ups and leaves me for 2 weeks and than after that time span he comes back, apologizes, and everything continues as if he never left.

I work 40 hours a week, have 2 kids (one of which has a disability), I have no family therefore I am all alone in this world. I just want to be happy. My co-workers tell me that I am a sucker for staying with this guy. When he does leave us, I make the rent on my own. But it's tight. If something goes wrong with my vehicle, or my kids get sick and I have to miss a day from work, I'll be (pardon the verbiage) screwed. I don't know what to do.
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 5 years ago.

J23castle,

 

Thank you for your reply and I ask that you be patient while I type my answer to your questions. Thank you in advnace for your patience.

Expert:  KimberlyF replied 5 years ago.

J23castle,

 

I think your co-workers are right you should leave him if he isn't making you happy then you have to find someone that will. It doesn't seem like he is able to communicate without running and leaving you for a period of time and then comes back as if nothing ever happened you need someone that is going to stay with you through the bad and good times and doesn't always run. The fact that his daughter continues to put your son in jeopardy because of the lice and it doesn't seem as if he does anything to help the situation and make it better. He should make her mother be more responsible about getting rid of the lice or call Child Protective Service for neglect that is a form a child neglect to knowingly ignore they have lice and not do everything in her power to get rid of the lice. Although he helps you financially some what I would rather struggle and be alone than to have to put up with everything you go through with him, especially with his children's mothers.

 

It may be important to find an apartment that you can actually afford so that you can make the rent and have extra money left over, you don't have to stay stuck where you are. If you have a friend you could stay with until you can save the money or have a friend move in with you to help out it would be better than staying in a relationship you are not sure you want to be in, it may at times seem hard to make it alone because there are many single parents making it just fine it was a struggle at first but it got better and the same goes for you. You are going to have to budget your money more if you decide to go it alone but it would be less stressful and this way you can get back out in the dating scene and find someone that will be supportive and who knows how to communicate without running. It's going to be a scary thought but once it is done you will see the difference in your life without all of the added stresses. Just because your relationship might be is over doesn't mean your life is over. Decide what you want your future to look like and then stay focused on it, not the past. Sometimes things just don't work out the way you want them to, let go of what was and look forward to what can be.

KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 750
Experience: Relationship expert for almost three years with JustAnswer.com
KimberlyF and 3 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DE/deedeeham/2011-1-24_51523_408.64x64.JPG Dear Debra's Avatar

    Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy's Avatar

    Kate McCoy

    Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    1235
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1215
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/CO/CoachJenK/2012-3-9_31019_Jen.64x64.jpg Coach Jen K.'s Avatar

    Coach Jen K.

    LMSW, CPC

    Satisfied Customers:

    726
    Providing the utmost care and support.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    549
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    349
    Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/SU/suzmsw/2011-9-2_184634_Thisone.64x64.JPG Suzanne's Avatar

    Suzanne

    Therapist, LCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    338
    Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency