We're being married for 5 yrs, boyfriend and girlfriend for about 4 yrs prior marriage (he was in the military, so we didn't see each other very often)
I'm 33, he's 35 yrs old
Today, I found condoms and a type of lubricant in his car. He said he brought them from the condo where he used to live. He just finished bringing all his belongings left from his friend's. We were separated for about 6 months and going through counseling, We got separated when I was only 3 months pregnant from our 2nd baby.. we couldn't talk to each other that good even separated (reason for seperation was that he was saving money for him, while I was working and using all my money to pay the house necessities because I thought he was broke,,,diffferent bank accounts.. He also wanted to have a "big birthday party for himself" with his friends on last Feb when we coulnt afford it because we had to pay back the IRS and I wanted to pay first that debt before anything and he din't like that.. So I told him that I got tired of thinking that I could count on him to help when I couldnt. He left to live with his friend but returned to live with me after the birth of our 2nd baby 8-6-98 because our decon from my church told him. We continue d going through counseling with our decon and our marriage and family counselor. He says he's sorry for the affair, and she lives so close to our home,, don't know exactly where but I'm always wondering.. They had an affair for about 2 weeks and I' m trying to accept the respond that it wasnot love what they had but only sex.. However, now my hair is falling out and I'm very insecure of myself and think he's not going to like it because he keeps making commends on how much hair is falling, specially after taking a shower,,, so maybe I'm trying to fight with him again, to make it easier for him to leave again??? (my doctor thinks my hair could be falling out post pregnancy)
I think he's going to talk to his friend, his old roomate,,, but he talks to him more when something is bothering him about our relationship than with me.... By the way, I don't really like his roomate anymore because when they were living together, they went out here and there and most likely were doing things inappropriate with other females. (he's in the navy and has a girlfriend in san francisco). Also, they went to a house party and his friend saw my husband going into the host's room and obviously having sex then they kept meeting at her house and she went to the condo a couple of times too, I know this because I told my husband that I knew because I spoke with her on the phone to ask her who she was and what was she talking about with my husband at midnight, 3 am an other times,,, she said they were talking about me and how he wanted to work things with me,,, later my husband told me that she asked him on the last time they saw each other for a relationship with her,,,,even thought she knew he was married...
Anyway, after I spoke with her on the phone, using his phone while he was picking up our oldest son from the house, heand he confirmed my suspition because he thought she told me... That affair happened maybe 2-3 weeks prior my 2nd delivery.... I've been trying to refuge my anger and hurt to God an sometimes he prays with me,,, but I don't think I will never love him again like I used to... (He had another affair, that I know of, when he was in the military an d out of the states and he promised that he will never do it again,,,, ) Now, he promises again that he will never do it again,,,but I think if he ever had the chance again, he will do it,,, an I don't like to wonder,,, I want respect and appreciation..
He tells me he needs to get out of the house so he doesn't make things bigger,,, he had said that he goes with his friend to talk,,, or just to sit with him and watch a sport game,,