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Ask TherapistMaryAnn Your Own Question

TherapistMaryAnn, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1675
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
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I;ve known my husband for 13 years. Were have been married

Customer Question

I;ve known my husband for 13 years. Were have been married for three years and have a 7 year old son. For the first few years of the relationship, everything was great then we split up then we got back together. We had a son and then a few years after that, we got married. Now three years later it doesn't feel 100%. What I mean is that I know we both love each other but I don't think we are "in love" with each other. He is not very affectionate. And there's limited emotional support. Sometimes it seems as though we are nothing more than housemates. We get along just fine but I feel that he is not giving me enough in the way of our relationship. I take college courses and when I beam about a good grade or something, he is just like "oh good for you" but it seems very insincere. I told him that I am enrolling in a graduate program and he just replied "why do you want to do that?" Others have been like that's great and have been very supportive of me. What can I do to reach him?
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 7 years ago.
Hello Jacmar

Have you talked to him about how you feel and the fact that the closeness is gone?

Are the two of you intimate?

What does he do for a living? how far did he go in school?

How is his relationship with his son?

Customer: replied 7 years ago.
I have talked to him but it seem s as though he does not take it seriously. If we are walking through the store and go past a floral shop, I might say" you should buyme some roses sometimes" and his reply would be "you don't like stuff like that". If I protest and say that I do, it's like in one ear, out the other. We are intimate but that is another area where it seems emotionless, mentally atleast. There doesn't seem to be any emotional connect during those times.
He absolutely adores our son. Sometimes I feel as though I have to compete with my son for his (my husband's) affection. When my son goes to visit my mother, he's more concerned when my our son is coming home than how we can use the opportunity to spend time together.

As far as his employment, he's completed high school and worked in production for several years before being put on disability for an seizure disorder.

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