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Cher
Cher, Relationship Enthusiast
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 21163
Experience:  Extensive experience as Educator/Teacher, M.A., Counselor, Spouse, Parent, Psychic Advisor
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I was dating this guy for about 5 months and i broke up with

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I was dating this guy for about 5 months and i broke up with him because he became distant and put me on hold because he was going through some legal problems and told me he might get deported back. I sent the breakup over a text message and he never replied. I love you's were said in the relationship. 2 weeks later i called him again asking him to just tell me to move on because it would make it easier for me and that i pretty much understood why this happend. I wanted closure. I left that in a voicemail. He never called back. After that i never contacted him again. 6 weeks later, on christmas day. he found me on facebook and sent me a friend request. He created an account that day. I accepted and sent him a friendly message saying that i hope things are well with him. What does this mean by him doing that? Is there a chance that he still wants me back? because deep down i want to be with him again. Or could he just be playing games?
Submitted: 8 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Cher replied 8 years ago.
Hi Tatyana,

Can you tell me your ages?

Do you know if he ever got deported, and where would he have been deported to?

Has he answered your message on facebook?

How did you first meet?

Does he live in your area?

Thanks in advance for all your additional detail.
Cher
Customer: replied 8 years ago.
He is 23 and im 20. He did not get deported. All I know is that he got an imigration lawyer before applying for his citizenship. I don't know if he ended up applying for his citizenship or is still waiting. When I found out i asked him if his feeling changed toward me because of this and he siad that he couldn't make any promises because he didnt know what was gonna happen. I told him that i didnt want to be put on hold because of this. I also know that he was talking to another girl from the ukraine through emails and phone as soon as he found this out that he might be going back (ukraine is where he might get deported to) as soon as i broke up with him, he got all lovey dovey with her. Looks to me like he figured that if he got sent back, there would be somebody there waiting for him i guess. He does not know that i know about him and the girl. I don't know if they still keep in touch. I also remember him telling me back in sept. when we were still together that he might be visiting ukraine over christmas break for a couple of weeks. but he never ended up going. He didn't answer me on facebook yet. I wrote him the message about 2 days ago. We met at a christian conference gathering and he lives 3 hours from me so it was a long distance relationship.
Expert:  Cher replied 8 years ago.
Hello again, and thanks for your reply with helpful information.

Considering everything that has happened between the two of you in this relationship, you're going to have to take things slowly.

If you felt he hooked up with this girl from the Ukraine, where he's from, so he'd have her waiting in the wings, if he did get deported, that's something to think about, long and hard. I don't know him as well as you do, and you say that you think you might want to get back together with him, but I don't think he's trustworthy, and if his feelings were as deep as yours, he would have contacted you before this time, and told you so.

I think he came across you on facebook and wanted to 'friend' you, possibly to re-open lines of communication, but if you haven't heard back from him yet, after sending him a friendly message, that's curious. Also, if you're a U.S. citizen, and he has not yet become a citizen, please keep in mind that he might want to get close to you to obtain his green card, if you were to get married.

From my point of view, after what you've related about your history with him, I don't get the feeling that he is a very honest person and is confused about what he wants. I think right now, you should cool it, and wait for his response, then take it from there. I just don't want to see you caught up in a relationship with him again, only to be hurt, like you were, in the past. You need to think about yourself and your happiness, and put that first, with any decision you make. Long distance relationships are difficult to maintain, and I speak from experience.

I wish you much good luck and hope things go the way you want them to.

Cher
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