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Ms Chase
Ms Chase, Life Coach
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2897
Experience:  Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
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I am 44 he is 51.My boyfriend used to go on a business trips

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I am 44 he is 51.My boyfriend used to go on a business trips a lot,he also kept going to NY every holiday.He didn't ask me to go with him. Christmas is coming.He told me,that he goes to NY.I asked if i can go,or if not should i make my plans-no answer.Than i saw on his face book that his address is listed as a NY and he is single and thinking about going to NY on Christmas.Than i saw a woman posted a message to him that she would like to go to NY too.I got mad and confronted him.He said that I'm jealous and she is his classmate and i should know that he planned to go to NY to his father's grave(how should i know?).I actually caught him on small lies before.He used to cancel dates sometimes also.Was it all my fault or he is a looser?We were 5 month relations.
Submitted: 8 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 8 years ago.
Where do the two of you live?

Does he have family in NY? does he go there other than on holidays?

How long have you been seeing him?

how did the two of you meet?

What kinds of lies have you caught him in?

Customer: replied 8 years ago.
we live in DC
his brother live in NY. During 5 month-he went there not only on holiday once-said his sister came from Florida.
we saw each other 5 month
we meet through internet.
Lies:once he asked me to go to see comedian,two days later send me e-mail-sorry no tickets.I checked on internet that comedian doesn't even come to the city.Two weeks later again-we should go to comedy club,than -no tickets,sorry(may be no tickets-who knows)
Once he told me that he goes to see his nephew away from NY,that he even doesn't plan to go to the city,than aacidently called me from 42d street.He didn't call much anyway.
Told me that he went with his sister to museum in NY ,than called her 2 days later(she was still in NY) and told her to go to this museum-since it is interesting.
He used to cancel dates last menute a couple of times-with strange explanations:my toilet is not working,or just-i don't feel good..etc...
Customer: replied 8 years ago.
I never confrunted him on lies,but was upset about NY,so he said i am jelous.
I found him still active on Internet when we were dating more than two month-confranted him,he removed his profile.
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 8 years ago.
Your question is, is it your fault or is he a loser. From what you've told me it doesn't sound like it's your fault. It sounds like you should have confronted him with the lies and saw what his reaction would have been to that. It sounds like he's either seeing someone else, or he's just not ready to be honest and commit yet. If you really like him, I would give it a little more time and see if he starts acting a little differently towards you. If he lies again, I would confront him on it. Don't allow him to use the jealous excuse, if the two of you are dating you have the right to ask questions. I welcome your thoughts, let me know if you want to talk more

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Customer: replied 8 years ago.
I confranted him ,asking about that classmate woman and why he is away all holidays,he got mad and said that i am so jelous that he doesn't want to see me any more.
I think it was just an excuse to finish this relationship

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