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KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 750
Experience:  Relationship expert for almost three years with
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My Husband and I were invited to a birthday party by one of

Customer Question

My Husband and I were invited to a birthday party by one of his female co-workers. We get to the party and I find him staring at her all night. I then find her staring at him. I asked if her works with her, he stated he just speaks to her occasionally. Yet, he knows what department she works in and what she does. This attention between the two of them seem to be more then just occasional speaking. I am wondering if they are having a relationship at work? Because sometimes he is at a distance from me in bed, as if he has a lot on his mind. Rarely affectionate towards me. What do you think?
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 7 years ago.


It's hard to say whether they are having an affair at work by only a stare. She may like him and may want to have a thing with him but that's not to say they are having one. Just staring does not constitute an affair. There are some signs to know if he is cheating or possibly cheating on you like if he changes how he dresses and tries to look younger or dress younger and starts taking better care of him, he could be spending more money than usually and going to more restaurants and using the credit card it could be something you need to take a deeper look into and figure out whether or not it's because of an affair or just added expenses. When he is at home, you could notice short phone calls, wrong numbers, and hang-ups more often than normal. You will be able to tell if it's a regular wrong number because of your phone bill look really close at your bills to see if there is a regular number on it.


You also have to look into text messaging on cell phones and emails. While it may difficult to get a hold of his cell phone and internet records, you'll know if they are texting and emailing more than normal. Especially if they don't normally do it, this could be one of the signs of your husband having an affair. Don't be afraid to ask about it and get a feel for how he responds it can be a telltale sign that he may be cheating or thinking about it if he gets defensive about it. Also if he is working later and more often than usually this too could be a sign but you can't really go by that because with the economy many people are working overtime to say afloat. If he leaves the house and frequent trips to the store, unexpected leaving, friends need help all of the sudden. If things are off then ask about them in a way that is not aggressive. It best you go into the conversation with some type of proof or he will only deny everything if you have proof he will have to explain it away. The easier you can do this the better off the communication will be and won't escalate into other problems.

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Customer: replied 7 years ago.

Yes, every monday or wenesday night he uses a darker coloring for his facial hair to look younger. Come to find out thursdays are the days he goes out to the account where this female works. I asked him i the past why does he dye his facial hair every monday or wenesday. He got offensive. Recent after the party, I asked him if he was having an affair with this woman, because of the staring I noticed and the facial hair coloring. He got offensive.

Do you think that there is a possible relationship taking place?

Expert:  KimberlyF replied 7 years ago.


If there isn't a relationship going on then there could be some flirting maybe she makes him feel younger and he wants to feel that he is still attractive to other females which is a dangerous game. If I were you I would keep a very close eye on that situation. If he doesn't exhibit all of the signs I said above then he may only be considering it so make sure you watch his behavior closely and that when he says he is working overtime that you check his pay stubs to make sure that they show overtime and if they do not then you may have something to worry about, you just need concrete proof that he is cheating or he will only keep denying it.

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