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Ms Chase
Ms Chase, Life Coach
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2897
Experience:  Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
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Long story, but I will try to make it short. I go to high school

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Long story, but I will try to make it short. I go to high school reunion, and meet someone again that I went to high school. We really click, all of a sudden I start getting these weird phone calls. It's his ex who lives in Brazil. She has all of his personal info, so she got my phone numbers, and email addresses. Hehas had a ton of email addresses, but she always breaks the pass. I know this because of my return receipts. She comes up with this I think I have ovarian cancer. Turns out she doesn't. It was all a lie. She actually convinced him, so we cooled it because he is a good guy, and he would feel bad if it were true. We resume after the results are negative. She continues to stalk me. Im talking 100's of emails and text messages. She does the same to him. She threatened his job, by listing all his superiors. She would stalk them like us. He has now shut down completely. Depressed.He is short with me, we're on break again. We were really coming along, but now he what?
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 6 years ago.
Hello

Do you and him live in the US?

Does he live alone?

When did he break up with her?

How did he meet her? how long were they together?

Does he want to be with you?

What is everyones ages?

Chase
Customer: replied 6 years ago.

Yes. We live in the U.S.

Yes. He lives alone.

He has broken up with her numerous times. She started the threats of suicide.

He met her through work in the country she lives in. Thats what is crazy. She is in another country. The were together for two years, via mostly internet,in person 6 months.

When we were together recently, it was fine, but when I walk out the door it is instant revert back to little room. he's really depressed. I'm close with his family, and they don't want me to back off. They are worried about his mental state as well.

he-38 me-38 her-34

Customer: replied 6 years ago.

HI,

Will you be responding to my answers soon?

Expert:  Ms Chase replied 6 years ago.
Hi,

I'm a little confused by your story. I understand that he's upset about all of this, but is he depressed because he's not with her, or is he depressed because of what she's putting him through?

How is she breaking his passwords? That doesn't make any sense. You can make a password XXXXX numbers and letters that no one could guess, so are you sure she's breaking in, or is he letting her in and doesn't want to tell you?

When they were dating in person, was she ever at his house?

you say it reverts back to 'little room', what is that?

Is he working? Who decided to break things off this time?

Is he still talking to her?

Chase
Customer: replied 6 years ago.

he is depressed becuase what she has put him through.

 

we figured out the password XXXXX there are programs that you can use as well. its all a matter of makig sure that you're questions when you forget teh pass are difficult, which has been rectified.

 

shes never been here, but he confided in me just tonight that he bought propert in Brazil when they were together a couple of years ago. although she has no claim, she is there and can do damage,be vindictive. he's quite upset that she has turned out to be so mental.

 

we finally got somewhere today with the communication. babysteps.i think he is really embaressed by the situation as well.

 

his little room, is his bedroom.

 

he is working. he decided to break things off. its just that she becomes obsessed with the harassment. one day, while i was there on business we came back to his place, and while his computer had been on idle for the day, she sent at least 300 ims.

 

he is not talking to her. that gets her going, but the apartments are an issue that he built because she was supposewd to be in charge of renting them.

Expert:  Ms Chase replied 6 years ago.
Hi,

Thank you for that additional info. If the property belongs to him, then he may want to put it in the hands of a realtor or a lawyer, let them deal with everything exclusively and simply sell the property off, even if it means taking somewhat of a loss. Once that's done, then his ties with the country are cut. He should go to the police station and file a restraining order, or at least find out if it's possible to do so, to protect himself, and you should do the same, this is just in case she decides to pop up. As for his emotional state, he's got to snap out of it....she's not here. It could be a lot worse, he could have some girl slashing his tires, or stalking you in person! He has to change ALL of his email, myspace, facebook, websites, phone numbers, EVERYTHING. Once he changes everything, she won't have any way to get to him, and if she decides to come here, he should call the police and tell them she threatened his life. There's no need for him to be embarrassed, it happens a lot more than you might think. As I said, the good thing is she is far away. If he can completely cut her off it might slow her down some, but as long as she has the smallest avenue to him she will exploit it. The biggest thing is he has to know that this is not his fault. We think that we know what someone is like, but in truth we can only know what they present to us, and if that changes, it is never our fault for trusting them and loving them. Right now, as you said, keep the communication, help him separate himself from this lunatic by changing his info (if you need more help with that, let me know), checking on restraining orders or any legal outlets, and being clear to him that this is not his fault and that you don't blame him for it, and as long as he needs your support, you will be there for him. He may have to consider therapy if this is affecting him so badly that he's depressed. I welcome your thoughts, let me know if you want to talk more

Chase
Ms Chase, Life Coach
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2897
Experience: Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
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Ms Chase
Ms Chase
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Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues