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KimberlyF
KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
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Experience:  Relationship expert for almost three years with JustAnswer.com
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Has my boyfriend cheated

Resolved Question:

Has my boyfriend cheated?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 5 years ago.

HiCustomer Thank you for asking your question on JustAnswer. By the way, it would help us to know:

 

-What are your ages?

 

-What makes you think he cheated?


-Could you explain your situation a little more?

Thank you again for trusting us with your problem. Please reply as soon as possible so that we can finish answering your question.

Customer: replied 5 years ago.
I'm 36 and he is 32. He goes out drinking at weekends. He used to just go on Fridays,more recently Saturdays as well. I was unfaithful to him in July 2007 which he knows about and hasnt forgiven me for. For the last year he has been spending more and more time out at weekends and often stays out all night. He often does not come home at all. He hides his mobile phone or keeps it with him at all times. When he is out he doesnt answer his phone or switches it off. We have been in a relationship for three years, at the beginning of the relationship before we lived togehter he failed to tell me he was also seeing someone else, This upset me alot when I found out and led to me being unfaithful to him. He blames the whole situation on me and thinks that how I have behaved was a greater sin as we were further into the relationship as living together and that his ititial infidelity was not that important.
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 5 years ago.
Customer

 

Without proof that he is cheating you cannot do much and if you accuse him without knowing for sure it could push him into the arms of someone else. Just because he goes out on the weekends doesn't really mean that he is cheating although him not coming home all night could be a sign that something is going on. What you need to do is confront him with your suspicions and hope that he tells you the truth. Trust and communication is the basis for a healthy relationship. Trust is not something that can be built with overnight, it is something that is gained through consistent and honest actions. Do not try to hide things from each other even if the truth will hurt it's better than being hurt later by lie after lie. Most people have good intuition but you may be waiting for something to happened because of your indiscretions earlier in your relationship but he too had indiscretions and yours is no worse than his was you both cheated on each other and that is where the lack of trust on both parts come from. If he doesn't feel that you regret what happened, he won't be able to trust you.

 

When he knows that you only speak the truth, it will increase his trust in you and vice versa. In any relationship, try to always have the best interest of others at heart. Work hard to give as much as you get, add value to his being and life, they will feel like you are on their side, and will show you the same respect, the two of you lost that along the way because you are only thinking about how each of you hurt the other. You are both human and will make mistakes but it's how you own up to your mistakes and try not to make the same mistake that helps to regain trust. Tell him you are sorry for your indiscretions and that you forgive him for his past indiscretions and tell him you want to work on your relationship and rebuilding the trust. You should ask him if he has cheated on you and tell him his actions say that he has he will do one of two things he will tell you the truth or he will lie so not to lose you so maybe ask his friend that he goes out with what they do on the weekends.

KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 750
Experience: Relationship expert for almost three years with JustAnswer.com
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