How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask KimberlyF Your Own Question

KimberlyF
KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 750
Experience:  Relationship expert for almost three years with JustAnswer.com
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
KimberlyF is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

my boyfriend has just ended it with me, he left his wife to

Customer Question

my boyfriend has just ended it with me, he left his wife to be with me, things have been good with us and the day before he was still telling me he loves me. His wife wants him back even though she knows about me. He says he doesn't want to keep hurting me, but doesn't know if he wants to go back, but according to his friends he has spoken about leaving for at least a year before he did. What do I do, give up or wait and then try to get him back? He hasn't gone back to his wife so far.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 5 years ago.

HiCustomer Thank you for asking your question on JustAnswer. By the way, it would help us to know:

 

-What are your ages?

 

-How long were you together?

 

-Do he and his wife have children together?

 

-What was his reasons for leaving you?


-According to his friend he was planning on leaving you for a year now?

Thank you again for trusting us with your problem. Please reply as soon as possible so that we can finish answering your question.

Customer: replied 5 years ago.
I'm 33, he is 40, 6 months together, no children together, she has 2 from a previous partner, they live with her, he has 2 from a previous partner and they live with their mother, he said he was having doubts about us, we work together, and his boss has just confronted him about us, as we were keeping it under wraps, he had been planning on leaving his wife for a year before he got involved with me
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 5 years ago.
Customer

 

All you can do is give him some time that may be what he wants and he knew he could not really think being with you and needs his freedom to think about everything. He seems way more confused than you are right now and knows he won't be able to think clearly with him being with you. You don't have any other choice but to give him some time and then contact him for either an explanation or closure. I think the boss confronting him about you really scared him possibly also,l he doesn't want to lose his job. Just with everything that has happened in the past year or so may be taking their toll on him emotionally and mentally. I would give him at least two weeks to a month to think about things and then ask for your answers to all the questions you have. If he isn't ready to give you that in that amount of time then maybe you should move on because you cannot waste the rest of your life waiting for him to be ready to make up his mind and tell you what he wants.

 

Hopefully he will take this time to be by himself and not get into yet another relationship without being emotionally ready to put the effort into the relationship you see what he did was split with his wife and then was with you without finding closure in his marriage and making himself emotionally free for you. That is why it is always good to take some time after a breakup and contemplate what went wrong and what part he had in the breakup and what he could fix about himself to not keep making the same mistakes over and over and he did not do that, he should have at least given himself a month to think things through before getting into a relationship with you so fast. I don't understand why if it wasn't affecting your work environment why the boss would feel the need to confront him about a relationship outside of work. What you should do is give him two weeks to a month without any contact and then after that time call him and ask him to talk to you and give you the answer you need to find closure in the relationship.

KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 750
Experience: Relationship expert for almost three years with JustAnswer.com
KimberlyF and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Thank you, XXXXX XXXXX I already knew that this is what I need to do, I'm just terrified he'll decide to go back. I am totally devastated, we had such plans, but you're right space is what he needs. I may be back in touch in a few weeks. Thank you for your time and kind words.
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 5 years ago.
Customer

 

Please don't hesitate to come back if you need my help, I'm here as long as you need me to be. Good luck to you!

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DE/deedeeham/2011-1-24_51523_408.64x64.JPG Dear Debra's Avatar

    Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy's Avatar

    Kate McCoy

    Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    1235
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1215
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/CO/CoachJenK/2012-3-9_31019_Jen.64x64.jpg Coach Jen K.'s Avatar

    Coach Jen K.

    LMSW, CPC

    Satisfied Customers:

    726
    Providing the utmost care and support.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    549
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    349
    Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/SU/suzmsw/2011-9-2_184634_Thisone.64x64.JPG Suzanne's Avatar

    Suzanne

    Therapist, LCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    338
    Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency