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Ms Chase
Ms Chase, Life Coach
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2897
Experience:  Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
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My husband is 77 and in pretty good health. He is unable to

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My husband is 77 and in pretty good health. He is unable to walk due to back surgery, so he has a scooter. I have noticed he is unable to find things, drops things and creates havoc wherever he goes. He has never had a hobby in his life and it appears he has no interest in life. I don't want to sit and watch tv and wait to die. What can I do to motivate him. Oh yes he doesn't laugh or talk much.

How long have you been married?

When did he become unable to walk?

Have you talked to him about this?

Is it just the two of you in the home?

Customer: replied 7 years ago.
1. We have been married 56 yrs. this Dec. 27, will be 57.
2.About 8 to 10 yrs. ago he was hauling railroad ties on his back. I was horrified and told him so. He said he was fine. About 9 months later after much yard work he started complaining about his back. He waited a number of yrs. before saying he could not stand the pain anymore. Had back surgery about 6 yrs. ago. He refused to do as the doctor instructed, (excercise, etc.) Within months he was unable to walk at all. He has always been a quiet person and comes a simillar type of family. They don't care about life.3. Have talked to him hundreds of times, no cooperation. Just the two of us and our 5 little dogs that keep me sane.
Hello Jans,

Thank you for that additional info. Wow, you have been married a very very long time.The fact is that the best indicator of future behavior is past behavior, and if he's been this way all of his life, it's going to be very hard to change him at this point. You can try to get him into counseling, but it seems to me he would resist it, and probably think nothing at all is wrong with him. You can talk to him about taking a class with you, maybe a painting or drawing class, a cooking class, woodworking class or something that he might be interested in. Look into senior centers in your area that might have daytime get togethers and different trips and events, and just take him. I suppose it depends on whether or not he'll let you take him anywhere, but it's worth a try. If he won't do anything, you still have to try and do things to keep your own sanity, if that means taking a class for yourself, or little day trips every so often to help you cope with things better. I welcome your thoughts, let me know if you want to talk more.

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Customer: replied 7 years ago.
Thank you Chase, but for one I do portraits, and have so many hobbies right now. I have had to over the years tried to get him interested in things, but no luck. He is a good person, just I believe stubborn and will probably not change. I thank you for your input. Wish me luck. Janet
Thats very good Janet, it's important as we get older to stay interested in things, it keeps us young, and he has to realize that as well. It's very possible that he's depressed which is why I recommend counseling, even if it means taking him there and having him sit. Eventually he may start talking. Check and see if there is a service that may have a counselor come out to the house. Anytime you need to talk, you can request me by name.


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