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Cher, Relationship Enthusiast
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 20859
Experience:  Extensive experience as Educator/Teacher, M.A., Counselor, Spouse, Parent, Psychic Advisor
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Me and My fiance havebeen together for a long time now, and

Customer Question

Me and My fiance havebeen together for a long time now, and he is currently in prison and we use to use drugs together I have been clean for almost two years now he gets in 6 months. Is it healthy to stay in this type of relationship? He has done drug counseling in prison and has recieved his diploma since being in prison.
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Cher replied 7 years ago.
Hello, and thanks for your question.

If both of you have been clean for a good period of time, as you mention, and he has taken the initiative of getting his diploma while in prison, hopefully, he is a changed man, and you will both have the strength to resist temptation, while together.

If you truly love each other and your love has withstood this time apart, plus, you've both overcome significant personal obstacles, you could try being back together when he gets out of prison, and see how it goes. If, after your reunion, you feel he is not truly clean or doesn't want to remain so, and/or he tries to convince you to do drugs with him again, it's time to leave the relationship.

If you feel you don't want to continue the relationship, because even though you still love him, you're afraid you may be weak, and this scenario above, could take place, then it would not be healthy to stay in the relationship, and you should both move on.

I wish you much good luck, and hope things work out the way you want them to.

Customer: replied 7 years ago.
I am scared because h want me to move to Texas were he is going to parole to. I have family there and so does he but, it is a sary feeling to leave the life i have created here since being clean.Ihave become use to my security were i am and i am affraid that what is going to happen if he uses again???? then I walked away from my life i built fr no reason.... Should i let go of this fear and trust that he can stay clean????? I know anyone can change, but it is still just scary......
Expert:  Cher replied 7 years ago.
Hello again,

I realize this is a difficult situation for you and with good reason. It IS very scary to consider leaving the life you have created since being clean, to possibly relocate to the state where your fiance will be on parole.

You sound very unsure if you want to do this, and also if you want to get back together with him if you both used to do drugs together, and now you are both clean. I agree that the temptation, when you're both together may be your undoing.

This situation takes a lot of thought, which I'm glad to see you taking the time to talk out and weigh your options. The ultimate answer can only come from within you, and it would be a good idea to hear what your support group and sponsors think about this, since they know you the best.

Personally, if I were in this situation, I would not choose to leave the life I have made, now, after being clean and in a good place, to follow him to another State. You can keep in touch, see if the same feelings are still there, and see if he's able to remain clean, then take it from there.

I wish you much good luck!


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