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Ms Chase
Ms Chase, Life Coach
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2897
Experience:  Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
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My bf and I began dating 3 months ago. He is recently divorced,

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My bf and I began dating 3 months ago. He is recently divorced, with 2 kids. He has confessed that for one month now he has felt insecure and vulnerable about a guy who is in love with me. For this reason (as a kind of immature revenge) he has let his ex gf(one that he had affair with that caused the end to his marriage) slightly into his life. She wanted to see his kids & he agreed. When he told me this, I was irate and he called her in my presence to say she should stop texting him. Her response was that he was calling/texting her. He has apologized since then and acknowledges his faults. He swears he has not seen her since they broke up in Feb. When I asked to check his phone, I found that all texts btw him & ANY other girls were erased. He promises not to erase any further texts and never speak to his ex. THEN asked me to move in with him to prove that nothing else is going. Am I being jerked around? Or is he truly so in love and insecure & trying to get attention and a reaction?
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 6 years ago.
Who is this guy thats in love with you?

how does he know about it?

Have you ever been with this guy?

Did you move in with him?

How did you meet?

What are your ages?

Has he ever cheated?

Have you?

Chase
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
My coworker is in love with me. I was honest about it from the start since I wanted his opinion if I should go to HR about it. I decided not to & was clear with my coworker about us only having a professional relationship. I have never been with him and do not plan on it. Although knowing that he has bothered him in the past, I have decided not to tell him every time my coworker invites me out. My bf recently confessed that he has looked into my phone & listed to a voicemail from my coworker inviting me to a party, to which I told my boyfriend I was going with someone else. (I never ended up attending the party)

I havent officially moved in with him. I am there every day and have most of my things there, but continue to keep my own place.

We met randomly at a bar after a work party.

He is 34 and I am 24.

He was married when he was 23 for 9 years. He was unhappy the last 3 years of his marriage and met a girl at work (this ex).

Ive never cheated before and I have been in several relationships although short-termed.

Expert:  Ms Chase replied 6 years ago.
Thank you for that additional info. You cannot help how your coworker feels about you. Your boyfriend is not only talking to this girl behind your back, he's snooping through your phone while he's texting on his. So anytime he thinks about someone liking you, he's going to call his ex or someone to make him feel better? I can't say whether he's jerking you around or if he's sincere about how he feels, but what we can say for sure is that he's lying and being deceitful and sneaky. He has to want to make things work and let go of all of the games. If you're not interested in cheating, then he should trust you and believe that, and you should be able to feel that you can trust him too. It's going to take time, but he has to be willing to work at it as well. I welcome your thoughts, let me know if you want to talk more

Chase
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
I do believe he is sincere but I dont want to waste my time & have this be repeated in the future if he feels insecure. Thank you for you response, but I just wanted to add that I did find a two texts from girls, which he called "honey" & one blind date that he was set up on during the first 2 weeks he was dating me. I can let go of the blind date since we hadnt known eachother for so long at that point, but I don't think pet names for girls are appropriate. When I mentioned these things he thinks I am just searching for things to be mad about, he has never met up with these girls since dating me, and he calls lots of girls honey. Does this sway your advice in any way?
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 6 years ago.
In a relationship, if you really care about someone, and they have something that bothers them, as long as it's not outlandish, sometimes the best thing to do is change. If him calling other women honey bothers you, then he should say that he will stop, because it wouldn't be worth it to hurt you or have you leave him over something so silly.

The only thing you can do now is to trust him till he gives you reason not to trust him. If you do find something and know that you need to leave him then do it and don't hang around. There's nothing wrong with giving it a chance, it's the only way you'll know for sure.

Chase
Ms Chase, Life Coach
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2897
Experience: Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
Ms Chase and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

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Ms Chase
Ms Chase
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Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues