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Ask TherapistMaryAnn Your Own Question

TherapistMaryAnn, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1675
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
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I was in a five yr hellish relationship and I met and cheated

Customer Question

I was in a five yr hellish relationship and I met and cheated with the man i am with now. I saw him for several months. Then i got pregnant by the man i was cheating with and left my live in boyfriend. I stayed with the man i cheated with but i did briefly go back to my old boyfriend. The man i am with now hates my old boyfriend because of him abusing my physically. However in the heat of all of the arguments i have with the new guy.He calls me a cheater and says he will never trust me because i am a cheater. He was not seeing anyone exclusively when we began our tryst but he was seeing other women then. We have been together almost two years now and we have a one year old daughter. It has caused a great deal of issues in our relationship. I dont cheat on nor do I have the desire to cheat on him. All and all he is a really good guy but he is extremely paranoid that i am gonna cheat he doesnt like me going anywhere really even work what do i do?
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 7 years ago.
Why did you breifly go back to your ex? Were you broken up with your current when you did?

What are your ages?

Have you considered counseling?

Customer: replied 7 years ago.
I am now 25 so the relationship with the first man gary was from 18 to 23 and he was my first serious relationship and i guess i was kinda attached to him in more than just the romantic sense we were more friends and companions to each other . Yeah i told the current man justin that i wanted to go back to gary when i did it he just told me no. I tried to be decent about it. It was a time of a big change in my life and i think i was a little hestitant to let gary go completely at that time since we had spent a long time together. However it didnt take long to see that the relationship was is and always will be toxic so i left him and went back to justin and have never looked back. But all of the accusations and the insecurity he feels really bothers me. He knew my situation when i met him i guess he didnt think we would have a child or be together exclusively. is he ever gonna trust me? No I have proposed counseling and he offers excuses cant afford it, its embarassing blah blah. He doesnt think we should discuss our problems with anyone else. I just want to move on from the past and better our relationship. It has been two yrs and he doesnt even say i love you to me. I mean i think he does love me but he doesnt say it. I have said it to him and sometimes he doesnt say anything and sometimes he says no u dont. How do i get closer and establish trust with him.

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