Have Relationship Questions? Ask a Counselor for Answers ASAP
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-Do you definitely want out of the relationship or do you want to stay and work it out?
-When you say he ran out do you mean he left you or just left for that time being?
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If you feel that you love him enough to work through this then there is going to have to be alot of communication and I would also suggest counseling, first counseling for your fiance' and then maybe couples counseling. Your fiance has to figure out why he chose to sleep with a man and is he struggling with his sexuality, was he just confused or was he honest with you when he said he just wanted to get laid. There is an underlying reason why he doesn't like to have sex with someone he loves. He may not want to lose you because then he will have to come to grips with who he possibly is, it sounds as if he might be afraid that if you leave him he will finally realize his sexuality this is why the counseling is so important for him to figure that out. You have tried almost everything now maybe try counseling as a last resort before making your final decision. There could be many reason why he slept with a man. 1. He could be in the closet as far as his sexuality is concerned. 2. He may have been molested by a male as a child or teen. 3. He has always been attracted to men just afraid to admit it. 4. He may have just wanted to try it or like he said get laid.
It's now time for you decide what it is that you want you seem to consume your time with what he wants and it's not making you happy. The fact that he has tested positive for HIV means that the two of you in order to have intimacy in the relationship will ALWAYS have to use condoms so that you do not become HIV positive and even a condom isn't 100% is that a chance you are willing to take? His one indiscretion cost him a life time of being careful so that any mate he has from now on doesn't become HIV positive. His reasoning for sleeping with a man was for selfish reasons and now he has to live with the consequences the rest of his life. Do you want to live with those consequences also and have the same life sentence? These are things you have to ask yourself now?
Try the counseling and if that doesn't work then you can think about making a clean break from the relationship and know that you tried everything in your power to make the relationship work and also counseling can help you to find closure if that is what you decide to do leave and never look back. It's always hard to leave someone you loves so much but it can also be the most selfless thing you could do if the two of you are not making each other happy anymore or fulfilling each others needs.