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Walter
Walter, Relationship Mentor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 11528
Experience:  Mentoring couples on relationship issue and self understanding. (JA's Relationship Mentor)
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My married man boyfriend told me recently, why cant you

Customer Question

My married man "boyfriend" told me recently, "why can't you be fat and ugly?" Because carrying out this affair is not easy (and, yes, I am ashamed), that sounds like he does not like me for me, but for my looks and shape. If I were fat and ugly, he could easily dump me. His wife has not had sex with him since their 37! year old daughter was born. He had trouble with that for 10 years, then resolved it was not going to happen then poured himself into his work and became very successful. The wife lavishes in all the luxury one could imagine. She does not work, just shops and travels. Recently, I mentioned that his physical relationship with her was not the "norm." They may be older now 60s, but especially when they were in their 20s and 30s. And, even in their 60s, if it not a common lifestyle, why all the
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Walter replied 6 years ago.

Hello,

 

It looks like your question was cut off.........would you like to continue?

 

Also can you answer the following questions.

 

How long have you been seeing him?

 

How does he treat you?

 

Is this only a sexual relationship or do you do other things together?

 

Does he wish to leave his wife for you?

 

Do you want him to?

 

Walter

Customer: replied 6 years ago.


It looks like your question was cut off.........would you like to continue? I DID ON THE EXTRA PART THAT WAS ON THE ASK A QUESTION (UNDER AGE AND STATE AND WHAT HAVE YOU TRIED SO FAR)



Also can you answer the following questions.



How long have you been seeing him? 15 months



How does he treat you? At his convenience and I am back burner to not just family but colleagues. I know I should let go, but am having trouble because he keeps reeling me in.



Is this only a sexual relationship or do you do other things together? He likes to talk to me and be with me, but I feel he only goes through those motions for sex. For me it is a very emotional relationship.



Does he wish to leave his wife for you? No.



Do you want him to? Yes, but it is actually that I want somebody. I know I sound desperate, but I am a product of childhood abandonment which has followed me for 46 years. I had one 20-year relationship where I was treated like a princess. And, he was married. He did leave his wife for a while (6 years) but them I met another man and the 20 year guy went back to his wife. He continued to treat me like a princess even so. I know a part of this is I am seeking that again. But, I want to keep this on the question of wifely duties. Is my girlfriendly duty to be thin and pretty? Sounds like if fat and ugly, I would be failing and he would throw me away.

Expert:  Walter replied 6 years ago.
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Walter
Walter
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Mentoring couples on relationship issue and self understanding. (JA's Relationship Mentor)