I am 27 and he is 29. We met on Facebook - we had been talking for about a month, then met face to face and have been seeing each other since then. He thinks that while I would be video chatting with him, that I am also talking to (not neccessarily videoing with) other guys. Plus, he thinks that just in general I am talking to other guys.
I haven't logged onto MSN chat ever since I started seeing this guy. But the other day somehow my computer logged on to it while Paul (the guy i'm seeing) was using my computer. While he was on, a guy sent an IM thinking it was me using the computer. So Paul got really upset, using it as "just another thing to add to the list".
The communication with my ex is mainly emails - maybe once or twice a month. We were together for 7 years and broke up about 2 years ago. So he will see that I have emails from my ex and that is another thing to "add to the list".
Am I wrong? Am I doing something I shouldn't be doing?
Let me just give a few more details. I want to make sure that if I take a stand on the issue and put my foot down, that it is a sound decision. Meaning, I don't want to be so firm about the issue, if there is a good reason why he is insecure. I have been single for what seems like forever and have gotten used to doing things my way. Now that I'm in a relationship I am worried about making "me" decisions instead of "we" decisions.
So with that said...
First thing......I am divorced. But I did not tell him right away; I told him just last weekend. So he respects my honesty and understands that my past is my past. I was only married for 4 months. I married a friend who was here illegally so it wasn't for love or anything like that. I was just trying to help him out. We only spoke about the issue for 30 minutes or so. He has mentioned that the issue is not "dealt with" and that we need to discuss it further. Fair enough.
With the email situation, we were both sitting at my computer, trying to find an email with an attachment. We were scrolling through all my saved emails and there were two from my ex. I knew he saw them but he didn't bring it up until later. To me, these emails mean nothing so why should I hide them? I would even let him read them.......
My ex currently lives in Azerbaijan as a Peace Corps volunteer. He sent me a keychain of Azerbaijan that I have on my car keychain.
I also have a pocket-size picture of my ex-boyfriend and myself on a keychain that I don't even use, laying on a window pane underneath a curtain outside on my back patio. Seriously, I can't even remember the last time I looked at that keychain. But he found it.
Last thing, I have a few saved photos on my computer of my exboyfriend and me. I thought I deleted them, but I guess I didn't get them all. I asked Paul to do some work on my computer, like freeing up memory, etc..and of course, he found the pictures and brought it up.
To me, these things are insignificant by themselves. But to him, when you add them up, they worry him and make him think that it is possibly for my ex to come back in the picture.
After hearing all this, is your advice the same?