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KimberlyF
KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
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My boyfriend tells me that he loves me and whenever we are

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My boyfriend tells me that he loves me and whenever we are together he is very attentive to me. He always answers my texts right away. We don't talk on the phone much. He's not a big conversationalist so it doesn't really bother me. He's the strong silent type. I asked him why he doesn't text me just to say hi like I do with him and he says it has nothing to do with me and that he's sorry if he hurts my feelings and that he'll try to be more mindful of it but he hasn't really improved. He's a great guy and he's always there for me so I don't want to get on his case about it, but I feel bad when I don't hear from him all day. He's 20 so maybe it's just cause he's young, I don't know. I love him very much but it makes me feel sad when I don't hear from him. We work together at a restaurant on weekends so I can't imagine seeing him at work and not being his girlfriend anymore. I'm tired of always second-guessing how he feels for me cause it's making me crazy! What do I do?

HiCustomer Thank you for asking your question on JustAnswer. By the way, it would help us to know:

 

-What is your age?

 

-Other than that issues how is the relationship?

 

-Do you feel like you want to end the relationship or work things out?

Thank you again for trusting us with your problem. Please reply as soon as possible so that we can finish answering your question.

Customer: replied 8 years ago.
I am 27. Sometimes I feel like he forgets he has a girlfriend when he's not with me. He said he doesn't forget about me and he's usually just busy and that he's sorry if he hurts my feelings. I think he genuinely meant it, but its so frustrating because I really love him. I think perhaps I just dwell on the relationship too much. I'm a very busy person so I need to focus on my own things probably. I don't want to end this relationship because even though he is young he has many great qualities and I think he is worth waiting for. He talks as if he plans on staying with me. Its just that sometimes he's a little distant lately, but I wonder if I expect too much from a 20 year-old. I'm in school right now so I can't get real serious with anyone either, just too busy. Am I doing the right thing by being in this relationship? I've been terribly hurt before and I'm really afraid of getting hurt again. Should I just let things progress slowly and not worry so much? I'm probably just too emotional.
Customer

 

I think you are just being insecurity about the relationship and maybe reading too much into. Whether you had bad relationships in the past or maybe you haven't had someone in your life like your boyfriend so you don't know how to get use to this type of relationship. You are going to have to learn to trust that he loves you and is being loyal to you or this could be the demise of your relationship if you continue this way, he will only be able to take so much. The easiest solution is to try to let go and understand that you simply can't control another person. You can love him and he can love you, but you simply cannot control him and make him act the way you want him to. This is an issue that has ended many relationships. One of the biggest underlying problems troubling relationships today is that people feel like they "own" their partner. This is the real reason behind fear, anger, jealousy, insecurity, and similar types of feelings. The best thing to do is to just allow him to be themselves and love him for who he are and not who you want him to be.

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