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Ask Ed Johnson Your Own Question

Ed Johnson
Ed Johnson, Consultant
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 10760
Experience:  USC, BS Psych & Soc.; Transactional Analaysis; U.S. A. D&A Counseling, Family Advocacy, Anger Mngmnt
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Is it common for a adult male sexual predator to be overprotective

Customer Question

Is it common for a adult male sexual predator to be overprotective with little girls, ie. his granddaughters. Allowing them to sleep with him.
Submitted: 8 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Ed Johnson replied 8 years ago.

DearCustomer

 

Can you explain what you mean by an adult male sexual predator? I mean are you describing him as a sexual predator, or has he been known to molest children? or has he been convicted of child molestation, etc?

Customer: replied 8 years ago.
No, I have no proof of individual molesting children, but there are signs of potential sexual danger. Watching them bath, allowing them to lay on top of him, hugs & kisses. Playing with his belly button by kissing him in this area. therehhim teperhaps hm inreparty
Expert:  Ed Johnson replied 8 years ago.

Dear mya,

 

thank you for clarifying your concerns. How old are the grandchildren?

Customer: replied 8 years ago.
9 yrs oold & 12 years old. kld
Customer: replied 8 years ago.
I am still waiting on a reply. Thanks.
Expert:  Ed Johnson replied 8 years ago.

Dear Myua,

 

I apologize for not getting back to you sooner.

 

I agree that his behavior is not appropriate. Not necessarily because he is a sex predator. I do not know if you are implying that he is one, or if you are asking what is a sex predator's behavior patterns.

 

This link gives a good description of the what behaviors are evident in child molestation.

http://www.sandf.org/articles/Profile.asp

 

i think it is inappropriate because it is behavior that does not respect boundaries and provides opportunity for inappropriate touching to occur. It can send the wrong signals to the children and to others who are observing.

 

We did not establish how old Grandpa was. BUT, I can say, in working with older people, (68 years and older generally but can occur younger), I find that they are sometimes in a state of denial of their aging. This shows up, sometimes, in overly affectionate contact with youth, defined as anyone 20 years or more younger than them. In many instances they will be trying to hug, touch, kiss, and with men, even use sexual innuendo as if they were trying to pick up the young women. They can actually sometimes get quite assertive. This is all related to denying their aging. Of course, those who have come to terms, and age gracefully, do not have that problem.

 

This does not excuse this behavior.

 

You need to set clear boundaries and enforce them. If he is an older grandfather, then perhaps substituting a pet may help to divert his behavior.

 

I agree that the potential for inappropriate touching is there.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ed Johnson and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 8 years ago.
thanks for your advice.
Expert:  Ed Johnson replied 8 years ago.

Dear mya, Thanks for your comments and feedback. Best of luck

 

Ed