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HiCustomer Thank you for asking your question on JustAnswer. By the way, it would help us to know:
-How long have you been married?
-What do you argue about?
-Could you explain your situation a little more?Thank you again for trusting us with your problem. Please reply as soon as possible so that we can finish answering your question.
One more question before I answer your question: What different ethnic backgrounds?
I don't think it's enthicity I think we as women in general tend to speak our minds and want to be heard but they want to feel like they are being understood and when the man ignores them it makes them feel as though what they say means nothing to them. I don't think it's an ethnic issues I think that your husband is a bit more laid back and has that don't stress the small stuff mentality. Alot of men like to avoid conflict and arguments and doesn't care at what cost they do avoid it but what they don't realize is in doing that it's like they are dismissing their girlfriends or wives. Maybe you should try to take another approach so that he will answer you when you ask a question and doesn't feel like it's going to end in an argument.
When asking him a question try saying it this way " Honey can you drop me off closer to work in case it rains?" It may be the tone of your voice that makes him think you are being argumentive when you are not. Try to change the tone and manner in which you ask him and use a pet name you have given him or just use terms of endearment before asking the question. Don't ask in a short or curt way it makes them shut down and not want to talk to you at all. Ignoring you when you talk is a learned behavior on your husband part he just got used to blocking you out in order to not argue with you just as he learned to block you out is the same way you are going to have to get him to listen to you again, if he sees that you are trying to change that part of you then he too will try to change and be more attenative.
You both have to be willing to compromise and bend a little that is what relationships and marriages are all about finding a happy medium. Accept each other for what you are he is laid back and quiet and you like to voice your opinion and be heard. Talk to him and ask him if he could at least give you a one word answer and acknowledge that he heard what you said. Talking calmly gets couples so much further than demanding respect and attention. He doesn't think he has a problem and that is why he said you need counseling not him but if he is ignoring you constantly then he too needs to seek a Marriage counselor woth you to help the two of you learn to communicate and have a healthy relationship. I don't think it's your differences in races I think it's more a difference of thinking and reacting. Try telling him you will try to work on how you talk to him and ask him things if he will work on listening to you and acknowledging that he has heard you and understand what you are asking of him.
You're welcome and if you ever need me again ask for me by name I would be happy to help. Good luck!