How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Dear Debra Your Own Question

Dear Debra
Dear Debra, Advice Columnist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1763
Experience:  I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
Dear Debra is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

My husband has been friends with a guy where he works for a

Customer Question

My husband has been friends with a guy where he works for a few years he recently I learned that my husband has been talking and texting his friends wife for the last year and half without me knowing, there calls were a couple times a day and at least 10 to 15 texts a day what should I do and should I be thinking this is wrong for them to be doing this. My husband says his friend knows and said it was ok he trust them but why wasn't I ask of the matter? She even has been to my house a couple times with her husband and nothing was ever mentioned until I found it on the cell bills. Please what should I do? I am so hurt over this ,, just weeks before learning of this I learned of him texting another friends girlfriend for 18 hours in 3 days and them meeting please he says they are all just friends and says they talked about nothing. Please Help me im going crazy!!!!
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 5 years ago.
Hello Jenny,

Is he willing to show you the texts?

How can it be about nothing?

What did they meet for?

Are you sure his boss knows about it?

How long have you been married? been together?

How did you and your husband meet?

How did you find out about the texting and calls?

What are your ages?

Any other problems in relationships?

Chase
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
first no he would not show me the texts he deleted them, and he said he made it clear to both the women to not call or text his phone, And the one women he met with said she wanted to talk to him about her boyfriend and my husbands friend, and about the other women he talked and texted to for over a year yes I am under the impression that her husband and my husbands friend knew about the talking and texting and was ok with it.
we have been married for 25 years next may and have know each other 27 years he was 17 and I was 15. He is a truckdriver and goes all over and gone 5 days aweek for the last 12 years and yes we have had some problems we are financially set we own our trucking company but he learned of a few credit cards I had and he went thru the roof it wasn't anything that put us in any kind of financial hardship but he was angry.My husband and I met at the school we both went to he was a basketball player and I was a cheerleader. Love at first site... I love him with all my heart always have and always will I still find him very attractive ,, sexy and the thought of him sharing anything with another woman makes me sick to my stomach. Please what should I do Im so torn and I don't think I can put this behind me I think about it everyday.I found the calls and texting one day accidentally by going online and checking my bill in which he was on my phone bill u until he got caught then he took his own out.
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 5 years ago.
Im confused why he would now make it clear for them not to call or text, is he saying he did this beacuse you are upset about it? So now are you saying he has a totally seperate bill that you cannot see?

Chase
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Yes he said he told them not to call or text his phone because he wasn't taking the risk of losing his family, but he remains friends with the guy and his wife ,, it is just instead of him calling her on her phone and her calling him from her phone they talk through her husbands phone when her husband is in bed ,,,, and sometimes him and his guy friend do a three way call but it doesn't say who the third number is??? and yes he went and took his number off of my account and got his own account says i can check it at anytime but felt he should be in control of his own line..... I think maybe he may have a track phone or a prepaid phone is his semi or something. I have ask so many questions Im afraid to keep asking he keeps getting more upset and turning things on me.. I have been very sick over all of this and not able to eat for a while now ,,, on meds now but anyways he is saying that im losing my weight and changing so that I can get a boyfriend and now everytime I ask questions in reference to these 2 women he says he is tired of hearing it and am I keeping asking these questions so i feel better about getting a boyfriend. I have never once ever looked at another man that way I love my husband and would of done anything for him but I am not sure I can go on living this way that everytime he leaves in his truck for the week that he is doing wrong..
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Relist: No answer yet.

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dear Debra's Avatar

    Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DE/deedeeham/2011-1-24_51523_408.64x64.JPG Dear Debra's Avatar

    Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy's Avatar

    Kate McCoy

    Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    1235
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1215
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/CO/CoachJenK/2012-3-9_31019_Jen.64x64.jpg Coach Jen K.'s Avatar

    Coach Jen K.

    LMSW, CPC

    Satisfied Customers:

    726
    Providing the utmost care and support.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    549
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    349
    Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/SU/suzmsw/2011-9-2_184634_Thisone.64x64.JPG Suzanne's Avatar

    Suzanne

    Therapist, LCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    338
    Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency