Have Relationship Questions? Ask a Counselor for Answers ASAP
HiCustomer Thank you for asking your question on JustAnswer. By the way, it would help us to know:
-How are things different now?
-How long after you saw her again were you intimate?
-Could you explain your situation a little more?Thank you again for trusting us with your problem. Please reply as soon as possible so that we can finish answering your question.
You are going to have to ask her if the two of you can get together and then talk about what happened and how she is feeling about what happened between the two of you intimately ask her what she meant by "it wasn't what she thought it would be?" Be completely honest with the way you are feeling and tell her you feel like she is pulling away. If you ignore the situation she will only pull away from you further and then it will be too late. Text her or call her and ask if the two of you can talk about something but make sure you don't make it sound like anything negative but you need to know what she is thinking about what happened between the two of you. She has to understand that when two people are intimate with each other for the first time sometimes it isn't as perfect as she would like it to be. You on the other hand have to realize that she was with someone for 8 years and she didn't know anyone else but that person so that may have been why it was so awkward, she may be having more a problem adjusting to life without him than she thought and when the two of you got intimate she may have felt like she was cheating on him in some weird way.
That is why it is so important for you to talk to her she seems to be shutting down for some reason and you have to find out what that reason is. When you are in a long term relationship that other person becomes such common place that you forget about others and when you lose that relationship with that person the mental relationship still lingers sometimes, she may not have given herself enough time to find closure from that last relationship and this too could be why she is acting so strange. If this is why she is acting strange don't get upset just be there for her and show her that you understand what she is going through and tell her that you are there for her as long as she needs you to be. If she ask for space give that to her also being supportive will get you much further than not being supportive. Call her or text her tomorrow and ask if the two of you could meet for lunch or dinner and talk things out.
You're welcome and I am here for you as long as you need me to be.