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KimberlyF
KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 750
Experience:  Relationship expert for almost three years with JustAnswer.com
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hey i am 26 yrs old and i started talking to my first girl

Customer Question

hey i am 26 yrs old and i started talking to my first girl i ever kissed. she is 25 i havent seen her in 15 yrs. till about 1 month ago. we got really close and sexually moved very fast as well. i am getting the vibe that things are very different and i now have feelings for her very strong i don't want to lose this and i really don't know what to do can you help me
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 5 years ago.

HiCustomer Thank you for asking your question on JustAnswer. By the way, it would help us to know:

 

-How are things different now?

 

-How long after you saw her again were you intimate?


-Could you explain your situation a little more?

Thank you again for trusting us with your problem. Please reply as soon as possible so that we can finish answering your question.

Customer: replied 5 years ago.
i just got out of a 6yr relationship and being have a faïence for 1yr. she just got out of a 8yr and i wasnt looking for anybody and same with her but we hit it off so good that it feel like it was meant to be. we have only been seeing each other for 4 weeks but she already tells me she feel in love with me and i am starting to feel the same i know it sounds crazy but i cant find a reason to doubt it. our sexual chemistry is so out of control that i never felt anything like this before. so when it came time to go all the way she said it wasn't what she thought it would be and i look as it was something special. so after coming her down she fell asleep in my arms and she seemed fine . this was last night. today i really didn't talk to her and i talk to her every hour. but when i did talk to her she acted fine and at the same time it just didn't seem right. i can feel her self pulling away and i don't want that i am trying to do everything right by her nut i don't know what to do now. i would text her that i miss her and tell her i was falling in love with her and she would always write back the same. but today no text back only when i asked her what her plans where for today. i feel lost
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 5 years ago.

Eric,

 

You are going to have to ask her if the two of you can get together and then talk about what happened and how she is feeling about what happened between the two of you intimately ask her what she meant by "it wasn't what she thought it would be?" Be completely honest with the way you are feeling and tell her you feel like she is pulling away. If you ignore the situation she will only pull away from you further and then it will be too late. Text her or call her and ask if the two of you can talk about something but make sure you don't make it sound like anything negative but you need to know what she is thinking about what happened between the two of you. She has to understand that when two people are intimate with each other for the first time sometimes it isn't as perfect as she would like it to be. You on the other hand have to realize that she was with someone for 8 years and she didn't know anyone else but that person so that may have been why it was so awkward, she may be having more a problem adjusting to life without him than she thought and when the two of you got intimate she may have felt like she was cheating on him in some weird way.

 

That is why it is so important for you to talk to her she seems to be shutting down for some reason and you have to find out what that reason is. When you are in a long term relationship that other person becomes such common place that you forget about others and when you lose that relationship with that person the mental relationship still lingers sometimes, she may not have given herself enough time to find closure from that last relationship and this too could be why she is acting so strange. If this is why she is acting strange don't get upset just be there for her and show her that you understand what she is going through and tell her that you are there for her as long as she needs you to be. If she ask for space give that to her also being supportive will get you much further than not being supportive. Call her or text her tomorrow and ask if the two of you could meet for lunch or dinner and talk things out.

KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 750
Experience: Relationship expert for almost three years with JustAnswer.com
KimberlyF and 2 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
thanks for everything i feel the same way cause i just got iut of a 6yr relationship but it was doomed from the start and i guess since it was easy for me it was going to be the same for her. i was stupid to think that it was going to be easy. i am going to call her to more and do my best to get thought this and try to start something right . thanks again i would olve to talk to you tomorrow and let you know how it went is there a way i can email you our write you again on this?
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 5 years ago.

Eric,

 

You're welcome and I am here for you as long as you need me to be.

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