Yes, she died 10/4. We were estranged because we were really step sisters, and I never knew how much she hated me for being born. Our mother had to put her in foster care when she was 3, and got her back home when she was 14. I just found out she was angry because she didn't understand why our mother had me, and left her in foster care all those years. I always wanted a big sister, (I didn't know about her until I was 6) and was so glad when I met her. Apparently, she didn't feel the same way.
She was 72, I am 66
I guess my question is how do I live with this knowledge, and the fact that I can't do anything about it now.