How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask KimberlyF Your Own Question

KimberlyF
KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 750
Experience:  Relationship expert for almost three years with JustAnswer.com
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
KimberlyF is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

My BF (24) has just broken up with me (25) after four years.

Resolved Question:

My BF (24) has just broken up with me (25) after four years. He says he needs to spend time alone with himself and says he needs to be selfish. It was only last night and he came round today and said he still loved me but needed to be alone and 'get his head together'. He is staying with a mutual friend. I just dont know how to get myself together again. I feel like I have been punched in the gut. I know its early days but I cant stop crying for more than 5 minutes. What shall i do?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 5 years ago.

HiCustomer Thank you for asking your question on JustAnswer. By the way, it would help us to know:

 

-Did the two of you live together?

 

-Has he been going through something in his life lately?


-Could you explain your situation a little more?

Thank you again for trusting us with your problem. Please reply as soon as possible so that we can finish answering your question.

Customer: replied 5 years ago.
We have lived together for the last 2 years of our relationship. We had been arguing a little more than normal over the summer but for the last few months things had seemed to get back to normal. We have just got back from a fantastic holiday in Turkey. John has been stressed at work as his job is very stressful anyway and he doesn't enjoy iy. He actually broke down in work the other day and had to leave and go home. Other than work things have been ok with us. He mentioned something when he left last night about being too young. All our friends are getting engaged and married and I dont know if he thinks I want the same thing (I dont) and that he is not ready (he is a year and a half younger than me). We have always been what people have seen as a 'perfectcouple' we just clicked from the word go and have barely been apart since. A friend of mine says perhaps in a week he will have sorted his head out and will change his mind. I dont want to hang onto something that probably won't happen but also don't feel that I should give up on our relationship without fighting for it.
I am certain that there is no one else involved
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 5 years ago.
Customer

 

It may be that he is dealing with some kind of depression and doesn't know how to handle it. Since you said that things between the two of you have been really good then I can only assume that he isn't happy with the other aspects of his life. I would stick it out with him and tell him that you are concerned for him and that you think he may be depressed maybe if he hears the words he will check with his doctor to make sure that this isn't the case. It's important to at least keep contact and communication open in case he needs someone to talk to and confide in. He may not have wanted to burden you with his problems but if he is depressed it isn't a good idea for him to be alone. Maybe talk to his friends and ask them if they feel he may be depressed about something.

 

Maybe family members may be able to tell you what is going on with him lately, it sounds like he didn't give you much reason for him needing time alone besides the fact that the two of you may have been moving too fast, reassure him that you are not wanting to rush down the isle. I really don't think that is it because you lived together for two years nothing gets more committal than that. I think he is struggling within himself and don;t know quite how to deal with that because he hasn't felt this way before.

Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Perhaps I had not thought of that. This is killing me. I wish I could hate him but he is being so decent about the whole thing. He was being patient with me today while I questioned and questioned him. Do you think I should ask him about this tomorrow or wait a few days?
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 5 years ago.

Gerogie262,

 

Give him until until Tuesday so that he doesn't feel overwhelmed with everything this way he will have had a few days to comtemplate about everything and he may be able to give you more answers if you ask him all of your questions at once it may frustrate him and push him further away.

KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 750
Experience: Relationship expert for almost three years with JustAnswer.com
KimberlyF and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DE/deedeeham/2011-1-24_51523_408.64x64.JPG Dear Debra's Avatar

    Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy's Avatar

    Kate McCoy

    Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    1235
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1215
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/CO/CoachJenK/2012-3-9_31019_Jen.64x64.jpg Coach Jen K.'s Avatar

    Coach Jen K.

    LMSW, CPC

    Satisfied Customers:

    726
    Providing the utmost care and support.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    549
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    349
    Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/SU/suzmsw/2011-9-2_184634_Thisone.64x64.JPG Suzanne's Avatar

    Suzanne

    Therapist, LCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    338
    Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency