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TherapistMaryAnn
TherapistMaryAnn, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1678
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
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My boyfriend and I have been 2gether for over 5 wonderful years.

Customer Question

My boyfriend and I have been 2gether for over 5 wonderful years. We been living 2gether for almost a year. Thus far we have had 3 major fights and they all happend this year. The last one is the one I need advice on. Hopefully U can help me. A couple of days ago my boyfriend made a comment that hurt my feelings, my reaction was to roll over and go to bed. Later that night I tried to move closer to him to signify I was over being upset...he pulled away. The following morning I tried 2 lay next 2 him and he would not touch me. Later that day I asked him what the problem was because he was still very distant. He preceded 2 cuss me out. I told him he should never disrespect me in such a way. The following morning after I spend the night on the couch, I decided 2 write him an e-mail. The e-mail said that I loved him and that we can work through any problems together. He acted like he did not care, even after I confronted him. He said he loved me. I just want 2 B happy. What should I do?
Submitted: 8 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 8 years ago.
hello

at what point did he say he loved you?

What were the fights over?

What are your ages?

Chase
Customer: replied 8 years ago.

When I asked him. Just before I asked him if we were OK

 

I am 37 and he is 42 (he is my first boyfriend)

 

The fights were about comments made by him that hurt my feelings and his very strong reaction to me being upset at him. A thing you have to understand is that his Father was very abusive to him and his Mom. My Dad was very abusive to me and my Mom. This is why I do not want to have that type of relationship. I want the cycle to stop. This is why I never have disrespected, yelled or cussed him out. I have tried to make him understand that relationships do not live in a bubble. Thus, sometimes we are going to get upset at each other. But we must respect one another, because that is what I want our relationship to be based on.

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