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Ed Johnson
Ed Johnson, Consultant
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 10760
Experience:  USC, BS Psych & Soc.; Transactional Analaysis; U.S. A. D&A Counseling, Family Advocacy, Anger Mngmnt
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Have a big crush on my Quiropractor. He seems to like me too

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Have a big crush on my Quiropractor. He seems to like me too but doesn't make a move. Don't understand why?

Dear XXXXXa,


Thank you for your question.


I understand exactly what you may be going through.


Let me share a personal experience.


While working on my Psychology Degree and during Transactional Analysis training, I had started an Adult Alcoholics support group, the first of its kind in the Military Services. Our mentor was a licenses Psychiatrist, who was a very good looking woman. She and I had contact outside the group through our profession, church, and church choir. So we saw a lot of other. We had a good friendship and much respect for each other. Through the course of daily events and being together in the different venues, of course, there was occasional smiles and meaningless flirtations; the kind that often happens between men and women in those situations. She was married and was not available to me because of that, and so there was no conscious pursuit, only friendship at the level of colleagues and persons sharing common interests in group environments. But during one of those sessions, in the group, I was sitting beside here. I bent down and picked up a folder off the floor, and when I looked up, her eyes and mine locked, and there was a moment. A moment of hot flash and sexuality, and a real turn on moment. We felt an obvious deep affection for each other in that moment. It was so obvious that the other 12 persons in the group noticed it. Our options and choices were that we could ignore it, or we could discuss it, or we could act on it. We chose to discuss it.


Through the discussion we learned that we can have these feelings for people we come in contact with through out our lives. And we can choose to ignore it or act on it. Acting on it may not be an option, because a person is unavailable to us for one reason or another.


Those reasons could be any of the following:


1. already married

2. has a girlfriend all ready (in todays world could be boyfriend...yes gay people do flirt with women...its safe)

3. may be interested in someone else more.

4. fear

5. professional ethics.


and so forth.


Without knowing him, I can not say why precisely. BUT my guess is, that it has something to do with ethics. A lot of physicians and other health care providers, get into trouble, and jeopardize their licenses because of violating ethics related to patient client relationships.


This is the biggest reason that professionals do not act on romantic flirtations and feelings originating in the office. They will make exceptions if they bump into you in a non-clinical situation. But that is not always the case. Some have a more conservative perspective on patient practitioner relationships than others.


In the case of Florida, state licensure board requires the termination of the patient provider relationship if you become romantically involved.


So what you may want to do is to discuss your feelings with him. If he feels the same way you do, then you can discuss being referred to another chiropractor so that you can date.


It is ok and I recommend it to discuss your feelings with him. You may have to make the first move in this instance.



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