How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Ms Chase Your Own Question

Ms Chase
Ms Chase, Life Coach
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2897
Experience:  Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
1042561
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
Ms Chase is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

My husband and I have been together for 12 yrs. He said that

Customer Question

My husband and I have been together for 12 yrs. He said that he needs space as I have said some things to him in the past that has hurt him and he is not happy right now. He said that he loves me very much and wants our marriage to work but he needs to be a lone for a while. I think he is having an affair.By the way the things that I have said that he said made him feels this way are joking things like making fun of his manhood size and not supporting the 150 things that he starts and never finishes. I only joke about the manhood thing he is perfectly fine and he has never said anything to me to lead me to beleive that this way of joking bothered him. Do you think it is just an excuse to take away the guilt of having an affair. All I know is that I love him very much and miss him and he wants time away and I am having a hard time excepting that. What should I do?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 5 years ago.
Hello

What are your ages?

What made you start joking about his manhood? What made you think it was ok?

Are those the only things you've said?

What makes you think he's having an affair?

Has either of you ever cheated?

Any other marital problems?

Has he moved out? planning to move out?

Chase
Customer: replied 5 years ago.

He is 37 I am 47

I don't know why I joked about that i am just a joker . I certainly didnt mean any harm.

Pretty much except for the fact that he always starts new things and never follows through so I really find it hard to take some things seriously , like starting his own business and singing in a rock group .

I have never cheated and I dont think that he has either until now.

No he said that he doesnt want a divorce and he doesnt want to move out he just wants to come home maybe 1 or 2 days a week sort of like a trial seperation for 6mos to a yr.

On august 26th his birthday I was away to Atlantic City for acouple of days with family and he came by to suprise me because he missed me , so I cant understand how he changed that fast and that was only a little over 4 wks ago.

Customer: replied 5 years ago.

Please reply , I am dying here............

Expert:  Ms Chase replied 5 years ago.
Hi, I'm typing an answer for you now, give me a minute or two and I'll send it. :0)

Thanks, Chase
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 5 years ago.
Hello

Thank you for that additional info. It's been my experience that you never-ever joke a man's privates. You can say the nastiest things in the world, but when you say something about their privates, even joking, they take it to heart and sometimes hold it close to their heart forever. With that being said, I can understand how frustrating it is to be with someone who doesn't follow through on things, and the age difference may play a part in that. Women are usually more mature than men their own age, and sometimes even a couple of years difference in age can make a huge difference.

You said that he popped up in AC, is that what caused you to think he was cheating?
Did you ask him why such a quick change of heart in a short time?
Is this the only reason you think he's cheating?
Why did you go away on his birthday?

Where will he stay when he'll come home once or twice a week?
Are you prepared to go along with this?
Do you have children?

Chase
Ms Chase, Life Coach
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2897
Experience: Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
Ms Chase and 3 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
No the reason he showed up in AC was to suprise me . He couldn't come because he had to work. He came to AC on his birthday to spend it with me. He will be staying at his mom's as far as i know. No we don't have children . I have 3 from a previous marriage and he is very close with them especially my son. He cannot produce children so I did not hold him back on that. I did ask him why the sudden change of heart and he said that he has been feeling like that for quite sometime and has now decided to act upon his feelings. I don't know if I could handle the 1-2 days a week if you think it is a good idea I will however try.
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 5 years ago.
I actually don't think it's a good idea, why would he come by only one or two days out of a seven day week?

How far is his moms house from yours?

Chase
Ms Chase, Life Coach
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2897
Experience: Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
Ms Chase and 3 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
I haven't received the answer yet. I answered the questions but as of yet have not received an answer
Customer: replied 5 years ago.

Ms. Chase,

I am desperately waiting for an answer here.His mom only lives 20 minutes away. I truly

believe that he is having an affair he says no and that he is going through whatever it is he is going through , but i think that is a copout he is just guilty and cant face me. What should I do. I do love him very much but I cant be a sucker or a pushover either.

Expert:  Ms Chase replied 5 years ago.
THIS ANSWER IS LOCKED!
You can view this answer by clicking here to Register or Login and paying $3.
If you've already paid for this answer, simply Login.

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DE/deedeeham/2011-1-24_51523_408.64x64.JPG Dear Debra's Avatar

    Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy's Avatar

    Kate McCoy

    Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    1235
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1215
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/CO/CoachJenK/2012-3-9_31019_Jen.64x64.jpg Coach Jen K.'s Avatar

    Coach Jen K.

    LMSW, CPC

    Satisfied Customers:

    726
    Providing the utmost care and support.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    549
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    349
    Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/SU/suzmsw/2011-9-2_184634_Thisone.64x64.JPG Suzanne's Avatar

    Suzanne

    Therapist, LCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    338
    Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency
 
 
 

Related Relationship Questions