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-How long has she been dating this guy?
-Why is she afraid to leave him?Thank you again for trusting us with your problem. Please reply as soon as possible so that we can finish answering your question.
She has to want to leave the guy she is dating, you can not make her leave him and come to you. She has to decide when she has taken enough from this guy and feels she deserve something better than he has given her. I think once she woks on her self esteem issues she will be able to finally see that this guy has done her more harm than good and that you would treat her better and with more respect but no one can make her see these things. This guy has already proven to be untrustworthy and unreliable. I think she thinks this is all she is worth and that relationship is all she deserves. There isn't anything you can do but be there for her until she makes up her mind that she wants a much healthier relationship with someone that will respect her and not hurt her over and over again.
The final decision has to be hers in order for her to make a clean break from this guy and start to work on her self esteem because until she works on that he will use that to his advantage and she may never break free. She may need to talk to a counselor to find out where the low self esteem came from and why she feels this way.
The best relationships are built from friendships and right now until she decides she has had enough that is all you can be to her and if you don't want to be friends and she notice that you lost interest as a friend it might send her the wrong signal like you don't want her at all anymore and she will stay with this guy and take his treatment so that may not be in your best interest. If she has no self esteem she will accept someone treating her bad and stay there because if she doesn't feel good about herself she may be afraid that if she broke up with this guy she couldn't find someone else even though you like her it's a mind frame that she is in.
Though unfair it can not be helped if the other person may not share those same feelings right now, it has be both people feeling the same feelings or it will only be one sided and frustrating. She is in a relationship with someone else right now and if you were to have her wouldn't you want all of her? You are going to have to give her time to work through that relationship before she can even consider being with you let alone anyone else for that matter.