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Ask TherapistMaryAnn Your Own Question

TherapistMaryAnn, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1675
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
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what do i do. i met up with this guy. had three great days.

Customer Question

what do i do. i met up with this guy. had three great days. this was our first meeting but had talked for about 2mnths. online, txt, email. when i got back he told me he just wanted friends right now as he had just got out of a relationship where he was engaged. another two mnths down the line, and he is still txting me, emailing he rings me everyday. calls me georgeous, sexy and wont do or say anything that would result in me never speaking to him. This is playing with my head though he is 27 im 39 (age issue never mentioned by him or me). I have tried living day by day, we laugh loads but i cant do this forever, i like him heaps although it would kill me to never speak to again this is screwing with my head. how can he be so nice to me all the time and just say that we are friends. he blows me a kiss goodbye down the phone. distance is an issue. (500 miles). i just dont know what else to do. at the end of the day i love him to bits, we talk every single day.
Submitted: 8 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 8 years ago.
Hi Sweet

Nothing at all has changed since you last spoke to one of our experts Kim?

Have you asked why he blows you kisses when you are supposed to be 'just friends'?

Have you tried going out/dating?

Customer: replied 8 years ago.

Hi Chase,

No nothing has changed, i made a joke about the kisses because one day he did it really quietly (he was at work) and i told him he didnt have to. His reply was that he did it because he wanted to.
When we first started talking he was coming out of a realtioship, it seemed to end on a weekend when they had been arguing again.
The problem with dating is we live 500 miles away from each other. I told him how i felt about him and that i couldnt just be friends. He said at that time he wasnt ready for a relationship, he had the ending of his ex to deal with, and starting a new job as a manager. I dont want to back him into a corner and say right we do something about this or i walk away because i dont want him to feel as if i have pressured him. I have even told him i would leave him alone and if and when he decided he wanted something more he could contact me.
But he didnt want that.
Somedays are ok , i think i can cope with things how they are, then other days i have a hard time and want to tell him to go away because i cant cope with the hugs, kisses and silly comments that he makes like fancy snuggling up on the sofa. When he knows we cant. I dont think he deliberately does it to hurt me though.
Yesterday i tried not talking to him in the morning, but if i do that he thinks he has done something wrong.

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