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Walter
Walter, Relationship Mentor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 11528
Experience:  Mentoring couples on relationship issue and self understanding. (JA's Relationship Mentor)
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i am his ex-girlfriend, i come from far away and spend 2 weeks

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i am his ex-girlfriend, i come from far away and spend 2 weeks with him. when i wanted to kiss him, he said stop, but i am going to home town on this Thursday. He become the one kiss me first. and we try to have sex... and i ask him before"could we together again?'" and he told me"lets be a friend"... i really want to know, he will fell in love with me again or i just thinking too much? I love him so much. please help me.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Walter replied 5 years ago.

Hello,

 

Love is not something anyone can predict or even determine based on the actions of another person. The good news is if it is meant to be and you both want to be together then yes he could fall back in love with you..........but pushing it and trying to make something of it is not going to help either.

 

He has said he wants to keep this as friends, then respect what he wants. But also allow him to get to know you again while you are there. Enjoy the time you have together without looking to closely at what it all means. When you try to analyze every look, every touch or every kiss the moment becomes less magical and more forced. It sounds like you and your ex have a connection......allow that connection to come to life naturally and give it time without pushing it.

 

Be there for him as a friend and do not ask him if you can get back together right now....simply take it as it goes and see what happens. I know it is frustrating when you want to be back in a relationship, but if you push it in that direction then this will never work as your ex will feel you are pushing for this so he will naturally pull back. Allow this time with him to be simple and natural. If it moves into something new do not question it just yet, simply enjoy it and take it as something new.

 

When you leave try not to ask if you are back together, wait until you are gone then keep the communication open with him. Keep calling or writing and talking to each other. Once things become more stable you can sit down and discuss with him where this is going and if you both want to try being exclusive again.

 

For now simply enjoy your time with him and take things as they go.....you will find that if there is love left in the relationship it will come back if you do not rush it.

 

Walter

Customer: replied 5 years ago.
i am come from hongkong, its far away from here. we are chinese people, we were study here, but 14 years ago, i am the one run away from him, he meet another girl and he get married and he is doing the divorce... so do i. i miss him since i got away from him, and he did not let me to find him, so in this 14 years, i could not find him. but 2 months ago, i check up the face book, i type his name, and i found him. and i told him, i miss him and i really want to see him, and he allow me to come and stay with him. i go to work everyday, and i stay at his home everyday too. i cook for him, i do some housework... he show he love me and thx me to do that. we only go out during the sat and sunday. after tomorrow i will go back, i love him so much, he told me he know. i really love him, do you feel he love me or i will have chance? waiting your reply.thx
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
he keep telling me he love the US girl... and i have to find another man when i am home... he always play the jok (touch, kiss, look at me) and tell me that is a jok...when i try to be mad(do not say anything, only working) he care me and ask me another things. that make me crazy, how can i do not think he still love me or care me....
Expert:  Walter replied 5 years ago.

Hello,

 

The fact that he allowed you to come down for two weeks shows there are some feelings, but two weeks after 14 years of separation is not nearly enough time for him to decide if he stills loves you or not. While love can be quick for some you must understand that he is going though a divorce and right now he is confused and hurting......while he may care for you two weeks is not enough time for love to take a firm hold on anyone.

 

It sounds like he cares for you, and may someday fall back into love with you. But right now he is taking this slowly and if you really want a chance to be with him you will need to take it slow as well. He really loved his wife and right now that love for her may still be a part of who he is. If you try and push him he is not going to stick with it right now. Since he is asking you to be friends only, you must respect his decision. He may care for you, but right now he is telling you to find someone new. You must respect his choice and go on with your life. Stay in touch with him and if things are meant to be they will come around........but do not waste any of your life waiting. Enjoy what you have and if he loves you he will come around.

 

Can you stay longer? If so this is something you may want to talk to him about, ask him if he would like you to stay a while longer to decide where you are at. If this is not a option, then try to enjoy what you have right now and in time you both may be able to work this out.

 

Walter

Customer: replied 5 years ago.
yes, i told him i could stay here longer, but ahahah, very meet by chance! her wife will come after i go... i ask him before, i can stay here longer. but he told me he already delay her wife 1 week to come and it is what he waiting for a long time, he told me he really want to finish this relationship... what can i ask him to let me know he will give me a chance or love me? kiss and touch is love me?
Customer: replied 5 years ago.

he loves the girl is only fall in love but he told me the girl will not love him.... and the USgirl is not his wife. the us girl is work in his same company. i love your answer but only i want to ask you more. in here no one could talk to me and understand me. thx

Customer: replied 5 years ago.
and he told me he will come back to Hong Kong (his home town) next year, and he said he will call me out and have a drink... and jok him, i said i may not see you. i don't know, it is hard for me in this time, he is beside me, but he is not loving me. i don't know what i have to do. i told him no one know i come to see him, and he ask me to tell my mom, and i ask why, he just tell me, my mom know who he is, its make her do not worry me from far away.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
is it good to tell him i will come again, when he want or need me? or what i should tell him before i go? write him something? .... please help thx
Expert:  Walter replied 5 years ago.

Hello,

 

So he has another girlfriend? Who he cares about who is coming next week......does not sounds real good for you at this point. I wish I could tell you a way to make him love you but the reality is you can not force anyone to love you. It must come naturally or it isn't real love.

 

At this point he has asked you to consider him a friend only, he has told you he cares for someone else, and he has asked you to return home. These are all little hints that while he may care about you he does not love you.

 

In the end you must accept what he feels and let him go. If in time he changes his mind then you can take it from there. When he returns next year he will have decided what he wants.....but do not waste your time for the next year missing him. It is time to let him go, if he comes back then so be it. But holding onto something that he no longer feels is not going to fix this.

 

In the end you can continue to push but it isn't going to make him love you. You must accept that he does not love you and only cares about you as a friend. Its time to move on and let what happens happen. If he is going to fall in love with you he will do it on his own........no amount of pushing will change that.

 

When you leave simply tell him how you feel and let him know if he wants to try and make a go of a relationship to let you know. This will leave the ball in his court without you pushing him.

 

Walter

Customer: replied 5 years ago.
thx^^ did you hear like this story before? and man is not easy to return the love right? i miss him already 14 years! anyway, it is a good dream and memoary for me. but it is hard for me to face that.
Expert:  Walter replied 5 years ago.

Hello,

 

Often it is hard to face a life without the one we love most. Have I heard this before, yes and no. There are many people out there that love someone who does not return the feelings. The fact is no matter what you do you can not force someone to love you regardless of what you do.

 

I wish it was as easy as some small thing someone can do to make love there....if so no one would be unhappy on earth. The good news is once you let this go and move on the true love of your life may be out there waiting for you. Its just a matter of moving on and finding someone who you can love.

 

Walter

Customer: replied 5 years ago.

make love is not mean he love me right?

Expert:  Walter replied 5 years ago.

Hello,

 

Life would be a lot simpler if making love meant being in love........sadly this is not the case. Often men can put sex before feelings and hold no ill feelings on it. Though allowing him to have sex with you while he is unwilling to make a commitment to you is not fair to you.

 

Though if you wish to continue that is your choice, but giving him sex or making love to him will not make him love you.

 

Walter

Customer: replied 5 years ago.

i write for him this morning

Thank you for your time you were sharing with me^^ I am sooo happy and unforgettable. Thank so much^^
As you say i know i am thinking to much and make you busy and uncomfortable...sorry.
i bless you have a good life, good job, healthly, and can meet a girl live with you, who is care and love you.^^ God will looking after you, just prey, he will listen, belive him. When I remember, i will prey for you too.
Remember! love yourself. eat food on time, eat vitamin and fish oil too. Also remember go to visit your best friend. ha ha you may feel i am "long air" already.
Honestly, even i could not meet you in this time, i was thinking about you, you were sooooo bad, you were sticking in my mind^^ so I could not belive i can see you right here and beside me. I am soo lucky, i could touch you, talk to you, cook for you, and do something for you... that's what i love to see and to do. That also only, only little thing what can i do for you. Thanks and appreciate about you let me did.
i understand you have so many problem have to concern, and your job is busy... ... but i am the one make you more busy and could not understand you. sorry... be happy. after i go everything have to finish. Don't worry me, I will not so silly again. everything will keep it in my soul^^ this is my secret. so you do not feel you were bad or wrong or... don't say again.
Thanks for you gave me a good memory, and take care me a lot.

Cheers

and he write back for me: I am glad to see you also, I also want you to be happy, both of us have a lot of things in our mind. I feel bad I can’t take you everywhere. I hope you have a great time here. If I go back to hk, I hope you still remember me, we can go out and have fun. At least you got a chance to see me. Whatever happened in the past, don’t think too much. I will pray for you also. I always pray everyone around me that they will be happy and healthy – included you. You need to take care yourself and your daughter. She is your only close family member when you get old. I appreciated that you cook for me. I am happy to talk to you. If you are not happy, you are welcome to call me, if you don’t mind to spend money on the long distance phone call. I will always be your friend and listen to you. I wish you the best.

Kiss….

so could you explain or think .... he love me ... or i have chance?

Expert:  Walter replied 5 years ago.

Hello,

 

Based on what he has written to you, he is telling you to move on with your life. While he cares for you as a old friend he does not want you to think there is something more then that going on. He is telling you that while he enjoyed the visit he looks at it as a friendship thing only and that while what you had in the past was great.....it is just that in the past. He is trying to tell you it is time to forget the past and move on with you and your child.

 

I know this is frustrating to say the least...........but the reality of the matter is what you had in the past is over and he has moved on. Now it is your turn to move on. He is telling you that he does not ind talking to you as a friend only should you want to call.

 

I am sorry, I wish I had better news. But from what you are describing and what he is saying this is friendship he feels and not love.

 

Please do not forget to click the accept button so I receive credit for my work. We can still communicate via this page if you have further questions.

 

Walter

Walter, Relationship Mentor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 11528
Experience: Mentoring couples on relationship issue and self understanding. (JA's Relationship Mentor)
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