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KimberlyF
KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
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Experience:  Relationship expert for almost three years with JustAnswer.com
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Im not quite sure what to do in the situation Im in. Im

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I'm not quite sure what to do in the situation I'm in. I'm in love with this girl 500 miles away and I've never met her only online. But I've fell in love with her. It's such a profound love and I don't want to let go. But my parents disapprove and say to me that if I keep this relationship, a lot of bad things are going to happen between my parents and I. They say there will be a gap in our relationship. I'm so lost. Please help...
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 5 years ago.

HiCustomer Thank you for asking your question on Just Answer. By the way, it would help us to know:

 

-What are your ages?

 

-How long ago did you meet her?

 

-Why do your parents disapprove?


-Could you explain your situation a little more?

Thank you again for trusting us with your problem. Please reply as soon as possible so that we can finish answering your question.

Customer: replied 5 years ago.
I am 18 and she is 15. I know its quite a gap at this stage in life but I feel age shouldn't matter in a few years when we can actually be together. I met her about 5-6 months ago, around March or April. We were never serious until around June.

My parents are extremely strong christians. So am I. I was raised in a way where now, I am a very shy guy and can't always think of what to say on the spot. I'm kind of afraid to talk to most girls except the ones I already have gotten to know. I never have the courage to walk up to just anybody and start talking. I'm afraid I'll mess up. Anyways, my parents disapprove because it's first of all long distance. They think it's a different world. Fictional you could say. Some place where I can escape to in case I don't want to go out with my friends. I mean I love going out with my friends it's just sometimes I don't and I have to sneak on my cell phone to talk to her. They tell me that if I choose to stay with her that they will "respond." The way they would respond is, my cell phone would be taken away or unsupported, I would have to pay the $700 debt I already owe them immediately leaving me with less than $400 for college this year, they wouldn't help pay for any fun stuff that I would want to do, I wouldn't have the car I was driving for high school I would have to buy it from them, and there would be a gap in our relationship because I disagreed with them. To me, it seems like they are controlling me with money the fact that I live to please them and not myself. I'm a freshman in college now and they blocked her number but I have ways of still talking to her. I told my parents before school started that I wouldn't talk with this girl. But I couldn't help but go back to her. I love her so much. I just don't feel like my parents are being fair to me. I feel restricted to their wishes and I can't be out on my own, making my own decisions but if I decide to do that then they make my life miserable. I don't know how to tell them what I really feel and to convince them that this relationship is worth keeping. Please help me.
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 5 years ago.

 

Customer

 

You have to be very careful that her parents don't find out because they could charge you with Statutory Rape of a minor and there goes your college career and any other career you will hope to have. Those are serious charges but as far as your parents are concerned you have to respect their wishes as long as you are staying in their house but if you are not then you have to live your life the way you want to live it, don't hold your parents harshness against them they have your best interest at heart and love and care for you and don't want you to do anything that will mess up your education. They may feel that this girl you care so much about isn't mature mentally enough for you and that you will start slacking in school and won't be motivated.

 

Talk to your parents and tell them that you want them to trust that you know what you're doing and that they bought you up to respect all women. As far as this girl is concerned, a long distance relationship is hard enough let alone a forbidden one it makes it even harder for the relationship to succeed because everyone is against you. When you go away to college then you can make your life just that your life but until then and while you are living in your parent's home you have no choice but to respect their wishes or hide to talk to this girl. I really think the thing your parent dislike about this relationship is her age she is not legally of age to date someone your age and your parents don't want her parents to get mad and charge you with Statutory Rape.

 

Your parents have your best interest in mind when they put these demands on you so don't be too upset with them. You're at the age where you have to start making choices for yourself and make your own way in life and your parents are just finding hard to let go and allow you to make your own mistakes and learn from them.

 

Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Her mom knows of me and loves me. I have no fear of being charged a crime. The thing I'm afraid of is living on my own since I've always been provided for, it would be a shock to me to have to live like that immediately. I'm not quite sure if I could do it but I know a lot of other people have.
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 5 years ago.

 

Customer

 

Then you have a tough decision to make because you know the only way you will be able to see her with out interference from you parents is if you were out on your own. Are you going away for college? If so make that your opportunity to see the girl and talk to her maybe think about getting a phone that you have to buy minutes for this way it will be your own personal phone to talk to her on and your parents won't get a bill showing her number on it. You are of age to make your own decisions without having to go to your parents for permission and since her mother doesn't mind her dating or talking to you then you have to do what you have to in order to be happy. It may be time for you to actually become an adult and get your own place and pay your own bills but since you are going to be in college that is going to be very hard to do. You're right there are MANY people that go to college and work to be independent, you could do it also. You just have to make up your mind what is more important to you right now staying with your parents and having them help you with finances or being with the girl you love and care about and being able to see and talk to her as much as you want to.

KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 750
Experience: Relationship expert for almost three years with JustAnswer.com
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