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KimberlyF
KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
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Experience:  Relationship expert for almost three years with JustAnswer.com
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I need help, I am extremely depressed though my boyfriend says

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I need help, I am extremely depressed though my boyfriend says I am no he says he would know if I was ill, its a dual problem I am being intimidated and bullied by managers at work, I work very long hours but then am critisized when dinner isn't ready early enough or the house is a mess or I've not done the garden, the only thing my boyfriend does is wash up once in a blue moon everything else is my job. Everything is my fault, he can't find his shoes I must have thrown them away etc etc. He calls me a c***t, gabbage, waste of space, highlights the attractivness of other women, and then says I don't have time for other people. He hates my religion and is very rude about my beliefs and also hates my friends who I no longer get to see. We work at the same place so he know's how long I work but he will call me a card board cut out useless. I don't know what to do have lost a lot of weight and have taken to literally banging my head hard on the desk. He just won't stop today he is in a str
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 5 years ago.

HiCustomer Thank you for asking your question on Just Answer. By the way, it would help me to know:

 

-What are your ages?

 

-How long have you been dating?

 

-What type of work do you do?

 

-Do you live together?


Thank you again for trusting me with your problem. Please reply as soon as possible so that I can finish answering your question.

Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Hi,

I am 28 well not far off 29, Shaun is 38, we have known each other for 3 years but have only 'been' together for just over 1 year.

We moved into our house in December last year and I thought that would change things as the set up before was very awkward but it did not.

I am a Quality Manager and Shaun is a Technical Analyst for a tissue paper mill.

I'm a very mature 28 in fact I think I'm the adult in the relationship see Shaun has never looked after himself, I've never been out with anyone younger then me I don't get on with them, he was very different before we got together I thought he was in love with me but it all changed.
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 5 years ago.

 

Customer

 

It is not you that needs help it is Shaun, he is degrading you to make himself feel better, you're depressed because of him I think you should first find another job away from your boyfriend and then leave him and maybe go stay with family or friends, I know you said he made you lose your friends but it seems like your friend care a lot more about you than he does. You shouldn't stay with him any longer. Right now he has control over you and you need to get that control back. Calling you such awful names is not a way of showing love and they are not terms of endearment they are words that he says to try and break you. Either he dealt with a lot of verbal abuse as a child from his parents or someone he really cared about but that doesn't give him the right to do this to you and this is why he treats you this way but you shouldn't stay where you are not appreciated.

 

I would talk to your friends and apologize to them so that you can have your life back and your friends. It seems like he downs every aspect of your being, if you do not leave him you will only stay a prisoner in your own home wouldn't you rather be alone than to deal with someone that doesn't care about you and your feelings? Please consider the things I've told you to do and also consider seeing a counselor so that you know your worth and that you can do this on your own without him in your life telling you that you are nothing.

 

Don't feel stuck to the point where you think this is the only place you have to go you have people that care for you and love you that will treat you much better. It's going to take a process for you to realize that it wasn't you and that you didn't deserve the treatment you got from Shaun and once you can do that you will find someone who actually deserves your love and shows you love back.

KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 750
Experience: Relationship expert for almost three years with JustAnswer.com
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