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JR, M.A.
JR, M.A., Mental Health Professional
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 184
Experience:  I have a master's degree in clinical psychology and am currently finishing my doctoral degree.
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my boyfriends best friend likes him in the love way and he

Customer Question

my boyfriends best friend likes him in the love way and he kissed her when he was mad at me and now she hates me couse she thinks he wants her but he dont what should i do
Submitted: 8 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  JR, M.A. replied 8 years ago.

Hi Britani,

 

I am a psychologist and would be happy to assist you. First, it would help me if you answered these questions:

 

What is his age?

 

What is the age of his best friend?

 

Why do you think he has a female best friend?

 

How do you feel about him cheating on you?

 

What has he said to you about this situation?

 

Customer: replied 8 years ago.
he is 19 and she is 18 and they have been friends for 5 years and i dont like the idea of the kiss but i forgave him but he wont stop hanging out with her as much he says he will always be her friend
Expert:  JR, M.A. replied 8 years ago.

Britani,

 

Ok...I am going to be completely honest with you here because I think you need to hear this. Your boyfriend is, in fact, acting like a boy...not a man. A real man would not cheat on you by kissing his girlfriend on the side. What happens next time you have a serious fight? Is he going to sleep with her? It sounds like that may be the next step. He obviously has little or no respect for you. His behavior is terrible and you are justifying his behavior by putting up with this. There is no other way of looking at it. He betrayed you and is continuing to hang out with the very girl he cheated with. This is not the behavior of an honorable guy. He will cheat on you again. The best indicator of future behavior is past behavior. You have heard the saying, "Once a cheater, always a cheater." That is because it is more often than not true. Stereotypes are based on reality. You would be doing yourself a great service by ending this relationship. He will just hurt you and I am certain that you will not remain in a long-term relationship with him. Brit, is this the type of man you dreamed about when you were a young girl? I'm guessing not. Do not sell yourself short by letting him treat you this way. What he did was very wrong and he is continuing to insult you by hanging out with this girl who is clearly trying to win him over. You deserve better than this for crying out loud! Wipe the dirt off your feet and move on from this boy. Find yourself a man...you know...the kind of guy you dreamed about. They are still out there...trust me! You just have to be patient. If you stay with this boy...you will just end up with your feelings hurt...most assuredly. I'm sorry if this answer was a bit rough or not what you were looking for...but I really want to help you out. I think that you realize you are worth more than the way he is treating you.

 

If you found this answer helpful, please click ACCEPT so that I get paid for my time. Bonuses are greatly appreciated if you found my help worthy. Please request me for future questions by typing "question for JR" in the subject line. Best Wishes!

Customer: replied 8 years ago.
i kinda kissed another guy also and he was my friend and i got rid of him to be with my boyfriend who i have been dating for 3 years now why wont he get rid of her for me and do you think she is trying to break us up
Expert:  JR, M.A. replied 8 years ago.

Brit,

 

He won't "get rid" of her because she is giving him something. What that "something" is, I do not know. He likes her for some reason and clearly is romantically attracted to her. He would not have kissed her if he did not find her to be attractive. He probably wants to keep her around in case the two of you do not work out. Again....disrespecting and dishonoring you. He won't let go of her for you...this is not husband material. So why be with him? He will only hurt you in the end. He is not a man....a man would let this girl go....in fact, a real man would never have kissed her in the first place. You are thinking too much...he won't get rid of her because she makes him feel good. She is serving some purpose in his life. Also, I think there is a strong likelihood that this girl is trying to get with him. Think about it....do you just happen to kiss boys that you don't like? I think not. Everything about this sounds bad to me.

 

If you found this answer helpful, please click ACCEPT so that I get paid for my time. Bonuses are greatly appreciated if you found my help worthy. Please request me for future questions by typing "question for JR" in the subject line. Best Wishes!

 

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