How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask JR, M.A. Your Own Question

JR, M.A.
JR, M.A., Mental Health Professional
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 184
Experience:  I have a master's degree in clinical psychology and am currently finishing my doctoral degree.
11111309
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
JR, M.A. is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

I am living with an elementary school principal. He is a

Resolved Question:

I am living with an elementary school principal. He is a great guy, but all of his friends for the most part are female teachers. We had an affair, and then he divorced his wife, and moved in with me. He has had seven affairs in the past, before he divorced his wife, but we have lived together for almost three years. Then he had another affair. What should I do. He wants to marry me.
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  JR, M.A. replied 6 years ago.

HiCustomer

 

I am a psychologist and would be happy to help you with your question. First, it would help me if you answered these questions so that I may better assist you.

 

What are your ages?

 

Are there any children involved?

 

Who did he cheat with on you?

 

Have you been in similar relationships before?

 

Tell me a little about your childhood relationship with your mother and father.

 

Thanks!

Customer: replied 6 years ago.

I am 30 years old, and he is 53. My mom married someone 20 years older than her, also. I was married before to someone who was mean to me. I have no children, but he has five, the oldest is my age. He cheated on me with another teacher. He has had affairs with four other teachers before I came along.

 

My dad died when I was tiny, then my mom married my stepdad, who is 20 years older than my mom. I have a good relationship, I guess, with both parents, although they are now divorced.

Expert:  JR, M.A. replied 6 years ago.

HiCustomer

 

I am going to give you the most straightforward and honest answer that I can, although you may not want to hear what I am going to say. The reason I asked about your father was because I assumed you did not know how a real man was supposed to treat his woman. Girls who grow up with good fathers tend to expect more from the men in their lives. You, however, are involved with a womanizing, boy of a man, who takes advantage of women young enough to be his daughter. You may not realize this, but part of your attraction to this man probably stems from your desire to have a loving father figure in your life. I'm very sorry that your dad passed away, but this man that you are with will not fill that void inside of you. This man is abusive and untrustworthy. What is it about this unreliable man that draws you to him? Think about it. He was unfaithful to his wife, why would he not be unfaithful with you? The best indicator of future behavior is past behavior. That is, looking at his pattern of behavior, he cannot be trusted in the future. He will eventually leave you for some other poor girl who is looking for her daddy too. I am sorry if this hurts a little, but I want you to really recognize what you are doing with your romantic life before you find yourself in over your head. I would bet my entire career on the fact that this man WILL cheat on you again. I mean...why not? He always gets away with it and there is always some young woman to look up to and admire him. He is likely struggling with issues of his own, and would not be a good choice for you. You need to find a man closer to your age, who is stable and strong. Stop getting involved with these losers...you know what they act like. When you find yourself attracted to them...RUN....RUN in the other direction. They will not fill the void inside of you. They will just make the void that much bigger. Think about your mother....do you really want to imitate what she did with her life??? You are young yet, please take the chance to start over. Drop this guy on his butt...leave him the same way he left his wife before you find yourself being the one who is left. I do not think I can be any more clear or blunt. If you were my patient, I would not take this approach with you, but because this is all the time I have, I want you to realize something about yourself. Men who cheat on their wife to be with you DO NOT know how to love well. They are, frankly, scum. I'm sorry for your situation but there is hope! You CAN get out of this. He will just find another unsuspecting girl to take your place. Please...think about the type of man you dreamed of marrying as a little girl....and dont let go of that. It is never too late to find a good quality man. Even if you are not initially attracted to a good quality man...give it some time. I hope this has been helpful.

 

If you found my answer helpful, please click ACCEPT so that I get paid for my work. Bonuses are greatly appreciated if you found my answer worthy. Please request me for future questions by typing "question for JR" in the subject line.

JR, M.A., Mental Health Professional
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 184
Experience: I have a master's degree in clinical psychology and am currently finishing my doctoral degree.
JR, M.A. and 2 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DE/deedeeham/2011-1-24_51523_408.64x64.JPG Dear Debra's Avatar

    Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy's Avatar

    Kate McCoy

    Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    1235
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1215
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/CO/CoachJenK/2012-3-9_31019_Jen.64x64.jpg Coach Jen K.'s Avatar

    Coach Jen K.

    LMSW, CPC

    Satisfied Customers:

    726
    Providing the utmost care and support.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    549
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    349
    Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/SU/suzmsw/2011-9-2_184634_Thisone.64x64.JPG Suzanne's Avatar

    Suzanne

    Therapist, LCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    338
    Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency